I (18m) been together with my girlfriend (18f) for 3 years. Started having sex over a year ago, but she had never initiated it.
I know she has low sex drive, and i never pushed her, but this year I moved out to university and we are long distance. I come home once a month and expected atleast some kind of sex (hj etc.) but if i don’t initiate it, it wont happen. I know the communication is a key, and i talked to her about it a couple times, but nothing changed. But i could deal with that.
The problem now is that everytime I try to initiate something, she says later, but later never comes. Its been a week since i came home, and she rejected me everytime i tried. Last 2 days i didn’t even try because i started to feel like a bad person for trying to initiate it. Last time we had something sexual was a new year.
Ofcourse i tried to talk to her about it a couple of times, but all she said, was she just doesn’t snt want anything in that moment.
Now I don’t know what to do. I am 18, she is my first and only love and i can imagine marrying her someday, but for me (atleast now) sex is important, and if we don’t have sex now, i cant expect to have it in 10 years. I don’t want a sexless mariage.
What i am asking is maybe someone was in similar situation, and knows how i should express myself, and also what questions should i ask to not hurt her accidentally.
Thank you:)
4 comments
The odds are it’s not going to get better. The libidos are clearly mismatched. No one is bad person in these situations. It just is what it is.
Even if you were matched up well libido wise most relationships don’t work out with a college LDR. You’re in a spot with all sorts of people you age going out, going to parties, and having sex.
Meanwhile you have a monthly sad handjob to look forward to.
Dude, as a girl, let me just say that its always hotter when a guy initiates sex. I know that it must be frustrating, but its always better when a guy would want me to have sex with him, me out of ALL the girl he could actually want, weather or not I’m in a relationship with him and its actually genuine. Plus, some girls are too embarrassed to say something about it and how they would want it. Its sometimes confusing and embarrassing when some girls try and don’t know if they’re doing it right or if they should be doing it at all. So don’t feel bad, its just a girl thing that sometimes happens in relationships.
Hopefully, she’s not seeing someone else when you’re gone?
I was once in your shoes exactly. You’re still very young, lots to experience and many new people will come into your life. Focus on school, set your future up and the women will follow. You can always touch base again with her in 2-4 years & maybe the break will really allow you guys to reconnect again for good one day. Growing up together is very difficult, that’s why high school relationships almost never last. Growing is natural, it just sucks growing apart form someone like that.