I was seeing this guy for few weeks
First date was great, we had dinner, and decided that we would take a mini trip together to see the sea lions. He asked me about my previous relationship I said that I didn’t felt comfortable talking about it right away and I wanted to take dating slow.
Second date, the mini trip, we drove the entire day and did a small hike. He shared some personal life details and told me that I need to put my walls down and trust him, that he is not my ex and he would not hurt me (a little too fast right?), this conversation kind triggered my anxiety and he noticed and stopped asking about it.
Third date was the same day as the second, because we decided to have dinner after a few hours after the trip. I have a very low body count because I need to feel comfortable & connected with the person, which I felt with him. So we slept together and afterwards he would say stuff like: I can’t believe I found you, you’re amazing, you’re perfect, I can’t let you got, etc.
During this period where we weren’t seeing each other, our communication was very bad, just very few texts and a few calls. Since I told him that I need something slower it didn’t bother me.
We had a call and I’ve told him I was feeling kinda off that it takes me time to open up. That he had to be patient with me, if it was the speed he wanted I would understand.
Everytime we hagout it was just food – sex – tv. Not actual deep conversations or activities to bond. Pretty dry at times. Mostly because I couldn’t be myself with him. You know when you like someone you just start acting weird…. Again would take me some time to be 100% me. Also he never planned activities and would go to bed very early because of work.
After that, I went on a trip and wrote an entire text telling him about my past relationship and how was a very toxic/abusive relationship that he would have to be patient with me and if he couldnt or didn’t have the bandwidth for it we should stop seeing each other. He was very sweet and said that this would not change nothing.
During the trip our communication got worst. He was very very bad at replying me back, but he did call me once.
When I got back from the trip, I told him I wanted to see him, I went to his place with groceries and cooked him dinner while he was working. We ate – sex – tv.
The main problem was that because he was always working so much we didn’t spent much time together, we didn’t talked much during our days. I like him and admire him but he would have to put more time to it.
Until he texted me saying that don’t feel the connection with me, that don’t think this will be something long term, likes speeding time with me but our conversations are pretty dry.
When he was the person not putting effort and time to it…….. not planning nothing, not replying my texts…. Trying to move forward super fast.
I told him to have this conversation in person later in the day we had a date, he said it was forcing it. And I told him that I couldn’t keep going because I was feeling that I was forcing everything. Effective communication was the main issue.
Also told him that I needed someone that was trying to make things work as much as me, that I feel a lack of effort, wrote a bunch, no replies. I guess is over. It fucking hurts because he was the only person after my traumatic relationship that I could actually tell the entire truth.
He said things are too messy for someone I only know for a few weeks. It’s better to cut it off.
I feel confused….broken…. lost…. Did I do anything wrong? There’s anything that I’ve should’ve done differently?
I think we could’ve be great together but it was maybe a bad timing….? Just want to hear few thoughts from y’all!
Bye ❤️🩹