I am constantly running into awkward and embarrassing moments or situations, where you get to know someone a little just to find out they’re looking for “fun” or platonic friendships instead of something serious; such as long term relationship. I would constantly have to tell them to please read my bio and it’s frankly quite annoying.
Recently on Bumble this men messaged me, I responded. We had some nice intro conversation and giggles. Then I asked him what is he looking for, he answers “good vibes” (someone to online chat with). He asked me what am I looking for, I responded “a relationship” then he hits me with the “RIP. I’m already dating someone. Sorry”. It was awkward and embarrassing for me. And it’s like, put that stuff in your profile somewhere. And you know Bumble has 3 sub categories. DATE
BFF
Bizz
So why are you on the date category if you’re not looking to date !? Very annoying. I’m just this upset cuz this happens all the time with men never reading my bio. Either with my preferences, my requirements or whatever. And I don’t even ask for much. The biggest things are I’m looking for a relationship, no men with kids, and no smokers. But they ignore all that.
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Its not the men only. I had “looking for fun/ons” type of profile, and got matches with wifey materials who later would write “oh, we are looking for something different, I look for serious stuff” and unmnatch. I am like, can you read? There was even emojis like smiling devil and peach and I was saying that I need a girl with nice bootie. lol
I’m sorry but let me clarify something for you.
Most men will swipe a trillion times and get 2 matches, one is a bot and the other instantly flakes.
The dudes who get heaps of matches are a small part of the population.
We don’t have time to absorb bios until we have something thats got traction.
I’m bisexual (male) and I put that visible in my profile. I also have “relationship style: monogamy” visible. I still get polyamorous couples sending me likes asking if I want to be in a thruple. Like no. Read the damn profile.
He’s a dickhead, but most women’s bios are nonsense and mean nothing. I’m sure the same is true with men. That’s why we don’t bother reading them most of the time.
That said, I skim bios, but just for dealbreakers.
I have bad news for you, generally speaking, people instaswipe left or right within 2 seconds based on the first photo they see.
It’s in our DNA not to read instructions
I fixate on somebody’s bio and immediately ignore them if it’s empty. If you can’t be bothered to tell me ANYTHING about yourself that I could ask about to get to know you, I’m not interested
My profile literally says
“I don’t smoke, I drink casually, I don’t do recreational drugs.”
A guys third message to me was asking if I knew where he could buy some Xanax.
It’s not just men. I have it in all my profiles that I don’t want kids. Women either don’t read it or don’t believe me or think they’re going to change my mind. People usually see what they want to see.
I’ll offer a different perspective that I see hasn’t been brought up yet.
Most girls put the exact same thing in their bio. It can be boiled down to “love dogs, office fan, tacos and margs, etc” so we as guys often see the exact same thing and in some instances get tired of reading the same thing so just swipe based on appearances and then hope it works out.
You can check pat threads on Reddit of this too but it’s very common that many times girls don’t have a unique bio that makes them stand out.
Well men can’t send you a message first on bumble as far as I’m aware so maybe not a true story
I feel like it’s not only guys, it’s also the dating apps. At one point I had a paid subscription to Match. I was pretty specific but not unreasonable about what I was looking for: there’s a big industry in my city and I didn’t want to date anyone involved in it and the guy should have his own place. I filled all this out on my profile.
I ended up meeting with a guy and a few dates in I found out he worked in the industry and lived with his grandma.
It’s like you said about Bumble having the categories. Why was that guy even allowed to see you?
I’m tall and so many men miss my height. I guess they don’t read because when we meet in person they’re in shock.
Because some men can’t think very well because the blood isn’t flowing to their brain because it’s going somewhere else.
People are shocked when I tell my height and I kept getting invitations to get a wine and cheese date. My height is in my profile, as well as ‘never’ for drinking. They read part of my bio but skipped the characteristics etc part apparently. There are surprisingly many people on Bumble who don’t or barely drink. I also keep getting offers to go out and get drunk as well. Just no lol