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He doesn’t exist yet. I’m working on digging him out from under this fat.
I’m the best version of myself, there is not any other me out there outperforming me at being me.
The best version of me probably made 1000 different decisions that lead to being in a completely different place
We’re not the same person anymore
Fit, full head of hair, well dressed, financially successful, and a smoker.
Pretty much the exact opposite of everything I am.
This version of me is out there somewhere in the multiverse and I wish him the best and the happiest life .
I look back in the past when I was in the Army.
I was fit, toned, fucking Ranger Certified, confident, had a ton of friends, wasn’t disabled, wasn’t brain damaged, and a pretty damn good career.
As much as the Army gave to me, it took from me. I got into an accident in a Humvee, got a concussion, and suffered brain damage, and tore my ACL so fucking bad that I will *never run again.*
I got fucking obese and gave into alcoholism for a bit, but I’ve since not had a drink of alcohol in 2 weeks and I’m on a stricter diet. I may never be as good as I was back then, but oh well.
There’s only the one version. It is the best and worst.
I don’t, I just see the gradient.
I have only viewed a failure for over 30 years now.
Mostly the same as now, just not an awkward fuckwad and in better shape. Aside from that, I don’t really have a ton of complaints.
A man of patience, wisdom, discipline. A man who doesn’t lose his temper, doesn’t give up when times get tough, or fails to express his love for his wife.
A man who sees what needs doing and does it without complaint or second guessing. A man who refuses vice, who embraces virtue.
A man who doesn’t look at far he is from his ideal and despairs.
I’ve been a little slack/inconsistent with training the past few months. So getting back into that and being dedicated would really help. Fitness comes and fitness goes