I’m 17, I’m your stereotypical virgin who can’t speak to women, I’m insecure about my height, (5’5). I feel I’m not ugly per se, and yet I lack all confidence what so ever. Today I had a horrible experience, was out with 4 or so guys. Take in I can talk to guys perfectly fine, they usually say I’m funny and a chill guy. The guys who was out with are the complete opposite of me, they’re able to speak with girls so easily it’s almost like an art form I don’t get it. Regardless, they managed to get 3 girls over fast forward a bit we’re watching a movie. I’m left on the couch alone with a girl I don’t know. I kid you not an hour goes by and we still haven’t even exchanged words. I literally had absolutely no idea what to say or what to do… everyone else was downstairs doing god knows what. I just feel like a complete inept fucking idiot. It amazes me how I’m able to talk to dudes perfectly and always have something to say but with girls it’s a different story.
8 comments
you are trying too hard.
i’m guessing you are trying to figure it exactly what to do and say to convince a girl to give you the sex.
if i’m wrong please tell me. i love being wrong.
but if i’m not wrong.. all you need to be is yourself. don’t pretend to be anyone else. just be.
wont claim it’s easy at first but eventually you’ll just be who you are.
This is not really advice, and I’m sure I’ll get shit, but if it wasn’t for alcohol I would have had a much harder time getting used to talking to women. I have social anxiety, I’d overthink everything to the point where I could barely form a sentence. As I got older I became more comfortable with myself and I no longer have this issue, but it helped that I was able to relax enough to actually practice with a few beers in me.
tbh most girls don’t care at all about height
Stop the porn and try to say something even if it’s dumb. You know all those people eho say “just do it”? They’re all right. A year ago I was similar to you and I understood that you have to sacrifice your comfort zone in order to achieve what you want
Stop going at it from the mindset of “I’m gonna try and get laid” and just try to make a new friend. And then just talk to them the same way you’d talk to a guy. This will loosen you up, you’ll be more laid back. If they want something more from you, they will drop hints that you will be able to pick up on if you spend enough time around women. The key is exposure, talk to a lot of women. At work, at school if you go, at the bar, wherever you go. There is no secret, just talk. I guarantee you that she was way more uncomfortable than you were. I mean imagine being a girl sitting next to a guy you don’t know who’s not saying anything? Women are told from a young age that men are dangerous, so you have to make her comfortable. You do that be engaging with her like you would engage with anyone else. Doesn’t mean she’s going to want to hook up with you, but it definitely opens up the possibility.
Just like with all things you need exposure to something to stop fearing it.
The ONLY way to get better to talking to girls is to get over your social anxiety and start talking to girls, there is no magical forumula. The same applies to men who can’t make guy friends, they get better at it by practicing and eventually like weightlifting you become stronger and stop fearing it.
Don’t focus on getting laid for now, your FIRST goal so be making one platonic female friend. Try to talk to women and make 1 friend. Once you are no longer afraid of talking to women (since you have 1 friend you talk to regularly) then you can start to go for girls for relationships and sex.
as a girl myself, just talk to them like you would talk to a guy.
be yourself i guess, and just try to talk to them as friends or acquaintances. it’s hard at first but you’ll get there :]
Read The Game by Neil Strauss. Its not a great book by literary standards but it gives you a glimpse inside the matrix that is speaking to women. It helped me a lot.