3 months ago, a girl [F23] I was seeing ghosted me after we had sex on the second date. We had great chemistry and I was getting very fond of her and this was the first time someone I was interested in liked me back enough to get that intimate.
I’ve been doing things to try and move on but nothing has even come close to helping.
1. I’ve let myself feel bad and cry, but 3 months on, I still get tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat at the thought of her.
2. I’ve spent time at the gym. I go with a friend a few days a week but I still feel bad.
3. I’ve tried to focus more at work. I started a good new career but I just find it tiring and draining right now.
4. I’ve spent time on my hobbies. I make music but I’ve found myself feeling uninspired and uncreative.
5. I spend time with my friends. I play video games with my friends a lot of nights not because I enjoy the games but because we talk to each other on the headphones and it’s a sort of social thing. I don’t have a lot of friends but I’ve hung out with a friend here and there over the last few months too.
6. I’ve dated 3 other women. I went on a first date with one girl. I went on a second date with another girl. And I went on a second date with another girl, and we hooked up. None of these helped, they actually made me feel worse because I kept comparing the lack of connection I had with them compared to the first girl.
7. I regularly go on long walks to clear my mind. They can range from 30 mins to 3 hours. I just go out. But even then, I still feel like crying.
I just feel really bad and not good enough. I’m quite picky when it comes to dating and even though I’m used to being rejected, this really hurt because she did like me at first which I guess I’ve never really had before.
I know it’s an extreme reaction to someone I went on 2 dates with so I’ve signed myself up for counselling but Im on a seemingly endless waiting list.
4 comments
Love is a drug. Perhaps total abstinence will help. And making sure new relationships are distatched from any emotions from the previous relationship.
She’s a PoS man, just focus on yourself and do alot of activities, time is the healer
Did you know she actually spends her free time belittling orphans? Saw her just last week making a little baby girl cry her eyes out.
She also works for Nesquick, and we all know by now how evil that company is.
Im pretty sure she’s the reason all us humans got little bits of plastic in our lungs now.
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It sounds like you have a grandiose idea of how things could have been. Rose colored glasses and whatnot. You knew each other for such a short time…is she really so amazing as you believe?
Or is your imagined version of her too good to let go?
If you spend all your time focusing on what you’ve lost, you’re going to forget what you’ve got, which is what seems to have happened here.
I have a hard time connecting to people also, so yeah it really burns when it doesn’t work out. Just remember that’s not the end, you’ve felt the connection before which is great…means its possible. But going out and actively seeking something ethereal like this, man you’re just setting yourself up to be a big blue panda bear till the end of time.
Honestly from my own experience, only time will help.
At the start of my final high school year in summer 2019 I asked out my crush (one of my best friends for several years) and she said no( just liked me as a friend). Ngl took me about 1.5 years to get completly over her, period got maybe a little bit extended due to Covid and being alone a lot, but still.