The guy I work for, idk how to explain it without going into too much detail, but picture if you were to draw the devil, sans horns and cloven hooves and all the non-human stuff, it would be this guy. So he looks kind of like he could be a bad dude.
He is also the most ambitious brilliant bamf I have ever worked for. He’s way younger than most of us but knows everything before anyone else and is constantly several paces ahead of them, even the huge old companies that are some of our competition. Like if he imagines up something and finds out it doesn’t exist he literally just invents it (or else hires someone to invent it for him lol) and patents it, he is that mad scientist type of person.
Anytime you ask him what the plan is regarding basically anything, he’ll tell you ‘world domination’ and then laugh like he’s joking, but one time we were all there late and he started talking about how if you were to have a company that would build communities that were run way better than anything we currently have, people would flock to them and be begging to live there, and whoever owned the company would, in effect, rule those people. Then you keep building more and more until basically everyone lives in one of your cities, then you will rule everyone, and they will love you and worship you for giving them this wonderful place to live. Like a utopia, ruled by him. That is putting it very simply and just what I understood it to be – he was carrying on about it for a while and had it all planned out, all the transportation and everything like he must fantasize about this shit regularly. It was kinda weird but then again he’s a weird dude and I could see him inventing a storyline about that so I wasn’t thinking too much of it.
After that evening there was one guy who started saying he (the boss) is ‘lawful evil’ and actually sounds like he might be the Antichrist, and we were all laughing about it because hey it’s kind of accurate. So it’s become a running joke now and everyone will make eye contact with each other and act scared when we hear him coming up the hallway or be cringing once he leaves, etc.
So this is where I need advice. I’m sure you can tell but I actually really like my boss lol. Both in the way that I find him attractive and just in general (don’t worry, I have no plans to pursue him at all). In spite of potentially being some sort of evil dark lord lmao, he is actually hilarious and has always been super kind and decent, to me at least. As an example there was one time I went to leave and found a flat tire on my car and he was still there, he went down and changed it out for me. Middle of summer, dude was out there sweating it out on his hands and knees messing with my old shitty car in his suit, never acted inconvenienced, offered to go buy me a new tire because they’re expensive, just totally 100% nice. He will also walk me and the other girls out to our cars if it’s dark out when we leave and things like that, you don’t have to ask him, he just does it. He’s never been rude to me or inappropriate or anything like that at all. I’ve seen him get pissed off before but he doesn’t abuse anyone or pass the blame or anything.
I get that the Antichrist/evil thing is just a joke, and it’s meant to be funny, but it makes me feel bad because of how he’s always been so sweet and I feel guilty whenever he leaves and everyone laughs, I’m sure he can hear it. Sometimes lately I’ve noticed he makes self-deprecating comments about being a mean boss who everyone hates (one time he called himself Captain Bligh lol) and I wonder if it’s coming from him hearing everyone laughing and thinking we all hate him. But, on the other hand if I tell him and he says something, I don’t want the rest of the crew there to hate me because I ratted them out to the boss. Idk.
*Editing to add (I left this out because this is already too long but I think it matters so sorry, I’m adding it in) : Right before this started, there was a guy who really did try to turn people against him. The guy went online and started like a hate group against him after he asked for a raise and wasn’t given what he asked for, the guy has been fired for what he did but the other people who were on the posts were kept on because boss believes they were good people led astray by one bad apple, his words. That is why I am pretty sure the self loathing comments and all are related to him noticing the laughing and thinking it’s related to that.
tl;dr: My coworkers are laughing at my boss behind his back and I think he’s aware and feeling bad about it. But telling him might make me look like a snitch. What should I do?
9 comments
Don’t tell him. There isn’t anything he can do usefully with the information, and it will just make things more awkward all around. If you don’t like joking about him, you can refuse to participate. You can even make a statement once that you aren’t comfortable joking about him like that. But I wouldn’t go further than that.
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A lesson that’s a tough one to learn is that it’s easy and fun to side with your coworkers but when you get fired they aren’t your coworkers anymore and they still go to work and you don’t.
Do your job and don’t get involved and don’t participate in the boss roasting, would be my advice.
The irony is that you are laughing and make fun of this guy – who is younger than all of you but you all work for him. If you were smart you would align with this guy not the other drones…
Sounds like 1). you have a crush on your boss 2). you initially identified with co-workers who were attempting a minor coup, and now regret that.
This is a great time to learn about surviving office politics. Firstly, don’t join in with the rabble rousers who bite the hand that feeds them, second, don’t try to win points with your boss by reporting co-workers attitudes and inside jokes.
In other words, stay out of it & keep your nose clean. Don’t laugh or join in with the others, and don’t go reporting people to him. You have no idea how he’ll take it and you have no idea how you’ll ultimately get treated by the rest of the team. At the end of the day, he is in a leadership position. If he lacks the skills to handle this, that’s on him. Nothing good of it comes from you thinking you need to save someone above you.
Part of getting paid more as a boss should be accepting people aren’t going to like you because you’re the boss
Am I the only one who would let him in on the joke? It might be better if he knew that people didn’t hate him, they’re just being silly about the whole world domination thing. He might even go along with it – it would be funny.
This man sounds like he has a vision and the people leadership skills to do great things. What hopefully comes with that is the emotional fortitude to understand that he won’t be liked or respected by everyone and that’s okay.
So he might not be as emotionally impacted as you think. Even if he thinks some people don’t like him, he might not actually care.
If I were you I would not try to explain away the inside joke with your coworkers. But do let him know that you (and other team members) appreciate his vision and how he takes care of the crew by being a decent human being of a boss. Getting positive reinforcement of things he is doing well will likely mean a lot to him – that his efforts are noticed and appreciated.
it’s really hard to tell from your story whether your boss *actually* thinks people hate him / are laughing at him / etc. sounds like you think he may have overheard some stuff at some point? but also you have a crush on this guy so i can’t really tell what’s actually going on here. but i guess let’s play this out:
**Scenario A: You tell him + He had no idea**
You somehow tell your boss “Hey, just so you know, the reason people are laughing at you is kind of an inside joke about your whole world-domination vibe. We don’t really hate you.” Your boss is now confused and had no idea people were laughing at him, probably more self conscious, maybe slightly reassured, and probably inevitably clues in the rest of your coworkers that he is now aware of the ‘joke’ – possibly in a way that lets your coworkers know you were the one who told him. Best case he brushes it off. Worst case he was doing fine without this info and you have made him self conscious when he wasn’t before, and your coworkers all know you privately explained the deal to him. Best case they think it’s a little odd and start teasing you for having a crush on this guy. Worst case they think of you as a snitch.
**Scenario B: You tell him + he had been wondering**
You somehow tell your boss, he *had* been wondering, maybe he’s reassured and maybe not, in either case your coworkers *are* laughing at him behind his back and he now knows it for sure and only has your word to go on that it’s not mean spirited. Which honestly you don’t even really know if it’s mean spirited or not because you like this guy a lot (as a boss + crush.) Same dangers as above of you becoming a snitch in the eyes of your peers. Upside here i guess is that he’s slightly reassured + now trusts you more? You two bang? Idk what you’re hoping for here
**Scenario C: You say nothing + your boss remains clueless**
Maybe eventually things escalate to the point where there’s a conflict between your boss and whoever he caught teasing him. Maybe things continue just as they are until he sells the company for a billion dollars and retires in 2 years. You are not involved either way. You keep your job and are not branded a snitch. You can look him up and hook up with him after he leaves the company.
**Scenario D: You say nothing and your boss figures out what’s going on**
Eventually the teasing and laughter becomes too obvious to ignore, and your boss has to have an uncomfortable conversation with the office. You are not involved. You keep your job and you are not branded a snitch. If you turned your nose up too often or stuck up for him a lot when the teasing was happening, you incur a little resentment from whichever coworkers got scolded, depending on the severity of the punishment. Your boss becomes less friendly with all of you and the work environment is noticeably shittier and less fun.
Those are basically the four ways i see this playing out. So take a look at those pros and cons and see how worth it you think it is.
There’s *maybe* a secret fifth option but it’s super dependent on the vibe of the workplace:
**Secret Fifth Option E: The joke is revealed in a casual, *group, non-work* setting, *not by you* **
You all finish a big project ahead of deadline and under budget. Your boss opens a tab at the bar next door and the whole gang goes for happy hour drinks to celebrate on his dime. After a couple drinks, someone makes a reference to the in-joke, and it’s quickly explained by *multiple of your coworkers not just you* that you all love this guy and just think his quirks are kinda funny. He is a little taken aback but ultimately reassured, and probably dials back the world-domination shtick now that he’s aware of it. You have 2.5 drinks and go home *before 7pm* and *are not the last one at the bar* and you *do not fuck your boss.* Things are a little awkward on Monday but eventually smooth over.
Good luck