Him (31m) and I (32f) met on a dating app almost two years ago. We hit it off and kept meeting for dates and became intimate as well. But because he lives in a different city, there was no talk of a relationship …which i was okay with as well at the time because I had just come out of a long relationship.
We speak almost everyday and because both of us travel a lot for work, we end up being in the same city many times and go on dates/ spend time together.
Off late, I’ve been in a space where I do want to date seriously and be in a relationship/settle down for good and I shared this with him. He didn’t really respond to it and we moved past it and I went on to date other people as did he.
But for the past couple of months, he has brought up the possibility of us being together for good…the pros and the cons and initially I didn’t take it too seriously but he has been consistent with these thoughts and it made me think and I thought it would be a good idea to try this out. And suddenly after that he said we should think some more about it and then Nothing. There is no talk about this anymore. Anytime I have tried to bring it up, he dodges this topic and now I feel like I really did like the idea of being with him.
I’m so confused and very very hurt to be honest. What is going on here? Should I have a clear conversation with him? A couple of my friends mentioned that if he Did want to be with me, he would’ve made it happen. But he hasn’t and that’s making me feel even worse. Is this worth pursuing? Should I speak to him or not? And the idea to move from him seems scary. I feel very attached to the idea of being with him and we Do have a good time whenever we meet and there definitely is a connection. And honestly I’m afraid I know what the answer will be. I’ve had a string of situationships that have ended so unpleasantly…I’m afraid this is going to be the worst. He still continues to speak to me just not about this.
1 comment
You’ve known each other long enough it’s completely fair to lay your cards on the table and request a direct answer. HE brought it up before then he dialed it back. You are 100% in you right to make your feelings clear and to let him know that this hot/cold thing is hurting you. You’re a human being with feelings and he can’t just offer things and yank them away without a word. He’s behaving badly. Tell him you thought about what he said and decided you did want to try something but you need to know if he’s all in or not. Because if not you need to move on so you can find someone who IS willing to be in a serious relationship with you. Make it clear that you are not going to wait around any longer. You’ve given him more than enough time.