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10 comments

1. I posted a few days ago about a guy who canceled our 5th date because he’s sick. He got back in touch yesterday and it seems like he really was sick. But still no reschedule, and he hasn’t responded to a message I sent earlier today. Not writing it off, just assuming he’s less into me than he seemed last time we saw each other… so probably it’s time to release all expectations related to where it’s going.

   I know I should get back on the apps, broaden my options, talk to some new guys, but it’s so hard: when you’ve just connected with someone incredibly handsome, thoughtful, funny, interesting, ethically aligned, great in bed etc… it’s just so hard to stare at the totally unpolished pipeline of dating profiles and feel excited about trying to meet someone new.

   Any tips? I don’t want to get hung up, but I also can’t make myself feel stoked about my alternate options here.

2. Need advice: How the hell do I find homebodies? My friends keep saying I have to go out more to find someone. WTH.

3. Anyone have any dating stories where your current or past significant other rejected you early in the dating stage but then you both ended up together months later? How did that happen?

4. Dude said he wasn’t “feeling the energy” cause I wasn’t talking to him 24/7 on the app before meeting. Prob dodged a bullet, can’t do needy.

5. I am starting to tell myself “I love him.”

   This has never happened before. I hate it.

6. Met this guy that feels like we’ve known each other for years. Went on 2 dates and he said he was leaving. Getting stationed in another state. No problem. He calls when he has time, we chat for hours. 18hrs was the longest call, banter is perfect.
   Then he disappears. He’ll text me, not reply for 2 weeks. I told him I’m not interested. Fast forward 4 months, he asks to see me now that he’s in town (Thanksgiving), I decline.
   I text him 3 weeks ago to say hey and he asked who this was. I didn’t reply. Then I get in Hinge and I have a ‘rose’ from him…. I’ve never been so puzzled in my entire life. I rejected his Hinge thing, then text him ‘Why did you just send me a rose?’ He never replied. Guess he’s just not the guy, but dang I wanted him to be before he got weird.

7. 3rd date today w this guy who treats me exactly how I wanted to be treated and even more caring than I’d hoped for. However I feel such sadness after he left as I just don’t feel as attracted and I feel we could have a loving relationship if I did. Not sure if I should stick it out or call it quits.

8. Well I’m one day strong of no contact. Small win.

9. Reporting in from after speed dating in LA.

   Overall.. not bad? 1-2 where I was definitely interested l, 1-2 where I was like “why are we both here we are from opposite planets..,” and the rest solidly in the middle. Someone from my 1-2 definitely interested list asked me for my number after the event so that he could text me the title of the book we were discussing! So that’s different, but at this point we’ll see if he even follows through because so very few (ever) have. Someone from my 1-2 “WTF” category literally got up and left mid round and never came back but eh, I think I was definitely uninterested from the get go so no loss there.

   It’s an extremely short time to get to know anyone even on a surface level so I always have that in mind when trying to evaluate, but I think them giving us 7 min per match and less matches was better than the last event I went to where it was closer to 5 min and more matches. I couldn’t kept names and impressions straight then.

   The best part was probably comparing notes on common matches while in line for drinks with the ladies. Met a professional photographer who I’d love to ask more about photography equipment since I’m into amateur photography. Another girl and I have similar tastes in movies so we also followed each other on IG to keep talking.

10. I want to save my heart through the dating process by not sleeping with someone right away….till I have an idea of the kind of person they REALLY are. But this could take months! And I feel like that’s an unrealistic ask in todays dating culture.

    The last (and only) guy I met through OLD wasn’t a great person, but hid that fact, and his alcoholism for months. It caused a lot of damage in my life and I’ve been single 1.5 years since.

    I’ve considered that maybe I have to shed a limiting belief around no “decent guys” wanting to sleep with someone and actually continue to care for them after.

    I’m also wondering if it seems like I’m still a little scared to be vulnerable enough to connect with someone, and it’s reflected in the desire to wait a long time to have sex?

    I’m not religious, and am a very enthusiastic lover of the physical side of relationships. It will be difficult for me to hold back for the time it takes to get to know someone.

    Any thoughts appreciated.