How do you balance friends and being in a relationship?

18 comments

1. I’ve never done this well. It’s way easier when things are casual.

2. Easy, just be like me.
   Have one or two good solid friends.
   That live out of town. Poof. Problem solved.

3. Every other Friday night for friends, Saturday nights and weeknights for date nights.

   Early on in the relationship keep things separate, once we get serious, SO is invited to friend hangs; sometimes we’ll hang out with friends together, sometimes we’ll do our own thing.

4. Depends if you want them separate or together, but you can plan a particular night of the week as outing with your friends and make it a tradition.

5. We have mutual friends who we mostly only see when we’re together, and each of us has our own friends who we tend to see without the other. By and large, she’s either not even met my friends, or at most said hello, and same with me and her friends. Works well for us, we don’t like mixing up social / friendship contexts.

6. I go bowling with my friends on Tusday nights. Been married for 10 years, and this has been going on for the last 2 years. She used to have steak night with her best friend every Wednesday. Sometimes she goes with me, sometimes I go with her. Sometimes we go out with common friends.

   You just have to have an understanding with your SO that it’s healthy to have friends outside the relationship. It helps not having kids, though.

7. I leaned fully into the relationship and let the friends drop away.

8. Seeing that all my friends seen to have started vanishing once dating, you don’t

9. i have a group of 4 guy friends, we get together 2 saturday evenings per month, boys only 🙂

   other times, like barbecues, birthdays, etc, everyone gets together and brings their SOs and kids, etc.

   my wife has a Girls’ Night Out (or In) on those saturday evenings, sometimes the whole group, sometimes just her and one of her friends.

10. There’s nothing to truly manage. When my friends want my time I just go give it to them.

11. I don’t have a lot of friends that I “do stuff” with on a regular basis. We’re all married with kids in their late high school or college years, and we’re separated by hours of driving to each other’s houses. That said, when I got a dinner planned with an old friend, I simply tell my GF well in advance that “I’m going out Friday next week with XYZ.” Then they have enough notice to plan their own itinerary for that night.

    No, I don’t include her in the “hanging out with old buds” meeting.

    Now, if it’s group dinner, a holiday party, work party, etc., of course I invite my GF to go along. But catching up with those few good friends? Nope, that’s one-on-one time with me and my friend.

12. Whatever my current routine was before my girl I’ll keep it that way. Girlfriend isn’t the main priority in my life. I’m not sacrificing time with friends to give my girl extra time. I’ll delegate time to hangout with her but that’s it. I tend to keep friends and girlfriend separate for the most part. Sometimes the two worlds will overlap.

13. That’s my secret: I don’t.

14. Always make time for the friends.

    As a guy in his 40’s, I can assure you that women will come and go throughout your life… but some friendships will last forever.

15. My partner and I see friends whenever we want, separately usually maybe a couple’s hang once or twice a month. We have two date nights a week and even nights at home alone in separate rooms to do our own thing. It’s no harder than before we lived together.

16. Me and my SO have mostly mutual friends. And we both always make sure to introduce each other to new friends so we don’t feel left out. We don’t meet all the time but whenever he goes out with his friends I make sure to give him his time without calling all the time. But I do check on whether he ate or whether he is safe. We text each other at times we go out separately but always make sure to keep it short and with an “Enjoyyyyyyyyy” text for assurance. Idk why it has always made me feel not guilty about him staying home alone on a free day we get to call. None of us goes on nights out, so never had that issue. And yes, if its an event of our mutual friends, we both attend.

17. I have neither.
    Perfect balance.

18. The ‘balance’ is really whatever works for the relationship. Sounds stupid I know, but if you’re like me and your S/O is a big extrovert (ENFJ 3W2) then time with friends naturally happens. If you have a more introverted partner you need to manage time a little more. Sounds dumb I know, but the logic is there if you look hard enough.