Am I weird?

So I have started to realize that I’m pretty contradictory when it comes to social situations. When I’m at work or in a situation where I have to interact with people, I find myself doing the bare minimum such as replying and making casual conversations when people come up and talk to me in order to not make it awkward. However, I always get away from those situations as fast as I can and mainly keep to myself as I get increasingly more and more exhausted the longer I have to keep the conversation going. As a result I look visibly tired and people would often come up to me and ask if I’m okay and I default to saying that I didn’t have enough sleep in order to not worry people.

From what I said above, I probably give off the impression that I’m pretty antisocial and despise any form of social situations. While it is somewhat true that I dislike small talk, I find myself feeling pretty lonely when I go days or weeks without having someone to hang out with. Problem is, this loneliness is becoming more and more frequent as I have drifted away from alot of friends from school after I graduated and the 2 people that I even hang out with nowadays are also usually quite busy themselves, not to mention my unusual working hours (2 12 hour day shifts > 2 days off > 2 12 hours night shift > repeat) means that I very seldom have the chance to meet up with my friends. So I guess my dilemma here is that, as someone that craves social interaction from friends, why is it that when presented with a chance to make new friends and have the social interaction that I desire, I end up really dreading it and escaping the first chance I get? How do I stop dreading social situations and make new friends?

TLDR: gets lonely when my 2 friends are not available but absolutely hating any form of social interaction where I could potentially make new friends. Any advice?