Me(24m) and my girlfriend(23f) have been together around 3 months and she ended things with her ex around 4 months before we met. She was with her ex for around 2 years and has said to me while she didn’t love him anymore, she always felt bad about how she ended things with him.
He doesn’t live far from her and I will often see her looking at his house when we drive past. The other day I was at her house for the night and she said she had to go upstairs for a minute and change. It gets to about 20 minutes later and she still isn’t back so i go upstairs to make sure she’s alright, walk into her room, and she quickly puts the envelope behind her back, not before i make out her exes name.
I ask her what it is and she admits it’s a valentine’s card to her ex because it’s the first valentine’s day since they split. I have no physical evidence(texts,snaps) to suggest that they still talk and have never considered the idea of looking through her phone despite being cheated on in the past and doing my best to move past the state of mind it left me in. This has left me in very unsteady state of mind since.
5 comments
That’s a red flag.
This is pretty telling
You can always break up with her, might as well put some effort first to have no regrets later.
Begin by telling her how you feel right now. Tell her also, that, because she didn’t tell you about it, you suspect they stay in regular contact. You don’t want to spy on her, because it’s not what relationship is about, but you can’t stop thinking about it. Finally tell her that if she is still emotionally attached to her ex then you can’t blame her, but also don’t think you should be together.
Dude, that’s messed up. She sent a valentine’s card to her ex behind your back? That’s a huge red flag. She clearly hasn’t moved on from him and she’s disrespecting you and your relationship. You need to confront her about this and tell her how you feel. If she can’t give you a good explanation or apology, then you should dump her. You deserve better than someone who’s still hung up on their ex. Don’t let her play you like that.
Did you read the card?
Anyways, huge red flag. Put yourself first.