My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year and we’ve been through so much. I have been struggling with alcohol abuse for the past 2 years. I would drink in my car at a park before I would go to his house and put hide bottles to drink. I’ve made great progress the past two months and become the person I’ve always wanted to be and have finally let go of drinking and I’m proud of what I’ve done but I’m still a work in progress. My bf and I do like to party with uppers and we do them together. About 2 months ago he asked me specifically one day to not buy stuff from a person I know because he said he doesn’t want me to get laced stuff and I agreed. I really thought he said that to control what I get and when. Today I stopped by and got some and he saw my location and called me super upset. I told him right away what I was doing but I obviously didn’t want him to know I picked up. He said that he can’t trust me and I disrespected him and my behavior is a pattern. I’m upset that I hurt him and I can understand where he’s coming from because I would sneakily get drunk when I wasn’t supposed to be drinking. Ive put him through a lot with my drinking and he’s given me a ton of chances. I hate that I thought it would be okay to go to this persons house and that he would say no if I asked first. so I just went because I didn’t think it was a big deal even though he told me not to. In my mind I just thought I wasn’t doing anything wrong and that he wouldnt find out. I think it stems from me sneaking out in high school and lying to my mom because I found it easier than getting told no. I just don’t understand why I did it and why I didnt have a voice telling me it was a bad idea. I want to change and not hurt those around me or lie. He’s been nothing but loyal and honest and he deserves the same from me. I’ve made some huge changes and I know I can change again. I didn’t drink after the fight and I’m proud of how I want change bad habits and not just wallow in sadness. I love him so much and I’m feeling so disappointed in myself because I know I can do better. I just hope someone can give me some advice to change my behavior. Thank you 💛
2 comments
You need professional help not advice on reddit. Going from kne vice to another is not healthy. Your boyfriend knowing you had issue with alcohol and doing uppers with you is not good either. You really need professional help. What advice can idiots like me on reddit give you that will help?
I was a horrible alcoholic. I had a few dry months but was using coke the whole time. My husband also had a “rule” that I couldn’t pick up my own, only he could pick up from his trusted source. Ignored that. Eventually started drinking again. Now I am over two years sober but I had to quit *everything* and work a program.
You don’t have a relationship problem, you have a substance abuse problem. Life is so much better sober.