Ladies who have “lost themselves”, how did you find yourself again?

25 comments

1. After I broke up with my POS ex, I had no idea who I was anymore…..and then i partied SO FUCKING HARD. Hit the gym. Did everything I wanted to do that I didn’t when was with him…that’s how I found myself. My friends were there to catch me and guide me and I love them for it.

2. Spent time alone. It was hard with a kid and trying to manage the house with my guy gone for work so much. But I started doing things for me and not feeling bad or guilty about it.

3. Made a bunch of lists. This is all of the things I like about myself right now. This is all of the things I would like better if I worked on. This is all of the things I can do towards that today.

4. I’m in the process. For me it’s been exploring my interests. Prioritizing my health and self care. I have a toddler and no job and ft school, single mom. It’s a nightmare what I’ve been through. But I feel more in control these days.

5. I went to the last place I remembered having me, and thankfully, I was still there!

6. Therapy helped me a lot tbh

7. Went to therapy and took time to myself to enjoy hobbies that I used to, just to see what fit. Also did a lot of journaling.

8. Spent a lot of time alone. Therapy. Journaling. Hours on Spotify. Talking with old friends also helped rustle up old memories of shared hobbies I’d once enjoyed but lost track of.

9. I started nurturing myself.

10. Alone time.

11. Travel!

    Edit for details*

    Go places you never thought you would. See if that’s still within our outside your comfort zone. Talk to strangers to get a fresh perspective.

12. Sleep apnea machine and delivering mail on foot. SLEEP and EXERCISE.

13. I’m lost right now. I’m reading, I’m journaling, I’m spending time with myself trying to figure out what I need in life. I’m exhausted with life as it is now.

14. I listened to the Social Anxiety Remedy podcast in like three days and at the end of it, he said that nothing in his previous episodes was the right “remedy”. Then he said, you just have to think of who you were before, and literally **be** that person..

    He started it years ago, and took a bunch of breaks in between episodes, and you could totally hear him transforming. The last one I heard was like after a year break or so. Something about what he said clicked, and it worked. I feel like I just kinda “picked up where I left off”. It’s pretty crazy.

15. My dipshit ex (who I briefly dated in between breaking up and getting back with my current partner) cut me off from my friends and family, made me “change” my music taste, change my style to emo, dye my hair, do rebellious, stupid shit, and smoke weed with him.

    I’ve always been the classic “good girl.” I always called my mom when I was a teenager at a party where my friends smoked and drank. I love late 90’s, early 2000’s classic rock, I love my friends and family, and I love my put-together style and natural appearance. When I got back with my current partner, everything came back.

    I dyed my hair, to my natural color and leg it grow out to the point where there’s no more dye left. Instead of keeping it short, it’s long like how it used to be. I’m comfortable in my style again. I’m allowed to listen to the songs I like and not put on a persona. I can see my family and friends again. He respects that I don’t like to smoke, and neither does he. My current partner helped remind me of my old self, and how much I loved who I was. And how much he brought out the best in me. And hell. I even got my ears pierced out of spite since my ex thought I was “too hot to be pierced.”

16. Life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself.

17. Left my shitty ex and went to therapy

18. [removed]

19. Time alone.

    I was in a very dark place and needed to protect myself by just making it through one day at a time.
    Sometimes I wouldn’t have the energy to shower, sometimes I did.

    I gave myself the time I needed to get through.

20. Time away by myself preferably around nature and nothing else, clears my head and it’s calming.

21. Therapy and lots of shrooms. Psychedelics REALLY helped me find myself, except this time with a lot of added self love.

22. Shut everything else out and looked for any glimmers of hope I could find, and held onto them for dear life. Became spiritual. I can’t say that I’m very spiritual now (a bit) but in my darkest time this helped me stay afloat. Start anywhere you can but don’t give up and don’t rush the process. Once you are on top you’ll be someone else ❤️ good luck

23. may sound stupid, but i just go into a deep hole of reminiscing. usually, i look at old photos, listen to music i used to love, and rewatch movies i obsessed over 🥹

24. I think I just keep creating new versions of myself, becoming more and more of who I want to be, and loving the person I am in the moment

25. I haven’t