I’ve been in quite a few relationships and have had quite a few friendships to know that I am a negative person. I tend to look at all that’s wrong instead of all that’s right. My life so far has been way more disappointing then good so I look at things from a negative perspective. How can I try to be better at this? I want to have friends and I want to be social but it seems like I’m always talking about how bad life is/was for me. I have therapists so I can’t see why I have to talk anyones ears off with my problems.
Most people come to me with their problems! However I tend to make the conversation about me. I’m not self centered I just want to relate so badly.
2 comments
One way is to realize What You Focus On You Tend To Get More Of. So, if you focus on the negative, you will have a lot more negative in your life. Focusing more on the positive, or the potential, or the possible, would be more productive.
You have to put yourself in more uncomfortable situations that promote growth. You’ll start to see your ability to handle challenging situations improve and your mental state will reflect this. Also, consider your nutrition and fitness as this is an important factor in your brain chemistry. Positive affirmations are huge.
One specific easy exercise: start to notice all of the things you like about a situation / experience. The color of the walls. The cuteness of a dog. The feeling of your clothing. The taste. Start getting OBSESSED with finding the positive things in life. Even when you’re doing something you don’t like doing, find something that you like about it. As you do this day in and day out you will notice your attitude to change.
I am constantly struggling with this exact thing because I tend to have a lot of negative judgements. It’s something I’ve learned to love about me because I am always looking for ways to improve things. But it’s harmful because I become negative Nancy. The exercise I mentioned above is one of many things I’ve found to improve my life. I still practice this every day. Especially in the morning and at night.
Gratitude practice is also key here!