We have been dating long distance for 6 months and before that we dated for a few months online but had to break up due to valid reasons.
I really love her and she really loves me but I just feel like she never really has time for me as much as I need. She has a part time job and does school and has another small job and always has something going on in her family and friend group.
It’s usually a good day for me when we get to talk more than 20min a day on the phone or if she texts me for like 30min or more a day but that’s not really the reality.
Don’t get me wrong I have just started uni and been struggling with mental health concerns and I’m doing my best to overcome that, trying to study, make friends and gym but no matter how busy I make myself I just feel like she never has enough time for me to call.
I understand that she’s busy and has her own life and that she tries to call me when shes not working or studying or napping or talking to her family or friends.
And usually I just suck it up but today I had a really big achievement, I finished this exam and was really happy i did so great after failing all of last semester. I called her and obviously she didn’t pick up but then she called me later and I was so happy she did and I told her I did really good, I really wanted her validation like her to say something like omg I’m so proud of you!! She didn’t say that but she said that’s good and started talking about something else which sucked. Anyways I just continued talking but then after 5mins she said she had to go and that she couldn’t call me after work because she’s going to talk to her dad in the car and she feels like taking a nap after that so probably won’t call after that either but she’ll try.
This made me really frustrated. I don’t know what to do with someone who I can’t call in such defining moments in my life, and even if it happens it’s only for about 5 or 10 mins.
I have tried talking to her about it a few time and she says she will make more time when she gets free or something but honestly nothing really has changed.
I really love her and don’t want to lose her but it makes me sad and angry that that’s the reality, that no matter what I do she’ll always be too busy for my call. I know it’s probably not her fault either but I’m really stuck I don’t know what to do. Can you guys help me out
TLDR – wanting to spend more time together in a relationship where the other is busy
5 comments
Break up. Long distance at 19? LOL you are wasting your youth.
There’s basically no point in starting off a relationship long distance. Especially when you’re very young and have higher needs for attention and physical presence.
You are so young and have your entire life ahead of you. Break this off and find someone who can reciprocate the energy you’re willing to put forth for them.
Yeah she literally just called again we talked for 10mins then she went off to hang out with her friends and now I feel like shit, I don’t think I can be with someone for the rest of my life who can’t reciprocate my energy or understand me like that. But I can’t let go of someone I love so much and just detach it’s really difficult and I wonder if it’ll just be easier for me to continue in this relationship than be alone all by myself and be super depressed that I broke up with this super amazing girl that I deeply want, it makes me feel kinda selfish and stupid for doing so. Won’t you agree that asking for more attention is kinda selfish? I would love to hear what u think!
She’s a kid with a busy schedule, and maintaining a long distance relationships is hard for married adults.