I am a woman and he is a client of mine. A few months ago, I met him one day at work when I was not wearing makeup and I felt like sh!t. I didn’t think much of him but thought “he seems like a good kid.” He showed up again few times later. He told me I thought you were my age around 19 or 20. I told him no, I am almost 30. I thought that would scare him off but TODAY for Valentine’s Day he showed up with roses and my favorite Starbucks drink. I wasn’t wearing makeup and felt like sh!t again. I guess he paid attention to my drink of choice. I always have it by my desk. HE said it was a thank you note for helping him with some matters related to his university. “Thanks for being so helpful to everyone. I like your natural look.”
I was red as a tomato and didn’t know what to do but said thank you. It was so sweet and kept thinking “why can’t guys my age do this.” The office was full and my co-workers all stared. Then he texted me and asked me to dinner. I said, I will let you know. I feel too old for him. I made a joke to my co-workers “I don’t want to end up like Shakira and Pique.” My co-workers said “he is in love with you. When he sees you dressed up and with makeup, he is going to be more head over heels for you.” Im not sure if I should go on this date. I don’t want to raise his hopes up. but at the same time I haven’t been on a date in along time. But I don’t want to be a creep either.
31 comments
Do what you want. Dont let people convince you otherwise. Its your life not theirs.
Do what you want but he’s far too young for you imo. You’re at completely different stages of life. It’s a nice gesture but probably a bit much. I think everyone is overreacting here but he still probably shouldn’t have done it.
Seems like a good kid? He’s a man w balls of steels for doing that, give him some respect.
It’s just a date. If it doesn’t work out its like any other date, but if it works out you both win.
He’s in love with the idea of being in love with you. He doesn’t know anything about you but he wants to use the dinner to learn more. Balls in your court on whether you want to explore it or not.
Hate to say this, but imagine if roles were reversed. As a 30m I’d be convinced that it would be inappropriate for me to engage with a 21f who I knew I wasn’t going to date but she was head over heels for me. Unless there is any thought that you might like this guy I wouldn’t. I cannot imagine going on a date with someone fresh out of highschool.
But honestly maybe it’s okay. I don’t make the rules, I just have my own boundaries
> I am a woman and he is a client of mine.
Of course you think already think he’s cute/handsome as well, or you wouldn’t even be considering this, so you’ll have to come up with different reasons not to do this. Not being on a date in a long time, isn’t actually a good reason to go ahead and agree to the date, in this particular scenario.
It doesn’t sound like you have ended the client relationship. Does he still come to you or your office to get additional help in this university stuff? Is your office part of the university?
If we turn this scenario around to 19 yo female pursuing a 28 yo male, I’m pretty sure we’d get some different responses, including the whole age gap aspect. The arguments against going for that kind of dating situation, isn’t different for this situation either.
And for the record, he may be young in age but I don’t think he’s as inexperienced as others are saying. He’s pretty forward and taking action like sending flowers on Vday to someone he’s not even in a relationship with. It’s OK to compliment but the vibe I get is that it’s not a platonic compliment, he’s already flirting with you and it’s working.
This guy is not inexperienced or shy. Not a bad thing at all, but you’ll have to be the judge of whether you are really the one who has more ability to not fall for him and his flirtatious manner faster than he seems to have fallen for you.
Do not date this person.
He is barely an adult and is still in his teens.
This is a really big age gap because he is so young.
You don’t say that you are attracted to him or even that you are looking to date. It sounds like you have been put on the spot and are being pressured by your co-workers.
Politely tell them to knock it off. Tell him you are not interested and that the gesture was not appropriate for your workplace. And then block his number.
Why are you entertaining this?
Whenever it’s a guy that’s older in this age gap this sub always says to stay away🤷♂️ guess it’s okay since it’s the other way around
I’m not sure I would go out with someone who isn’t old enough to drink
If the genders were reversed you know damn well it’d be creepy. So no you shouldn’t entertain the idea to date him
First, I don’t believe this story at all given OP’s post history, but let’s just pretend it’s true.
What type of client? You helped him with university stuff? So your co-workers are like yeah it’s okay to date/fuck some kid who comes to us for university help?
Just think about this, what professional place would think that’s a good idea? Are dudes fucking all the 19 year old girls coming to them for help?
I think some people here are looking at this like a fantasy scenario. The age gap is an issue because of the circumstances of how they met. I think any 28 year old woman who thinks she can have a serious thing with a university student is naive at best. Delusional at worst. Not just because you’re at two different stages, but because he isn’t even earning an income.
From the 19 year old’s perspective yeah go hook up with him at least, but the advice for a 28 year old who met this kid through their job, no fucking way lol
This is creepy to me. He’s a client. I would not go on a date with a TEEN when if I was nearly 30. Your choice since both of y’all are adults.
Sounds like a schoolboy crushing on his teacher or something. The age dynamic is pretty creepy, imo. It should probably be a general rule that if they aren’t at least old enough to drink alcohol, then its probably not a good idea.
Two red flags: he is a client and he is very young. I would appreciate his gift and tell him I’d love to go for dinner but only as friends or reject dinner and clearly state you are not interested. Nothing else. Be clear and firm w the boundaries.
Here is the thing…. Even if he is in love with you… he is still 19 and has some growing to do. You are 28, so you really want to deal with the early 20s growing pains? Yes, he is love bombing you but he may or be mature yet.
Seems many are encouraging you and that’s also a valid point but age gaps are problematic for many reasons. However, it is flattering someone’s young finds you attractive and this is why many people cheat (is they are married) with younger women/men. We all like an ego boost. But don’t let that be the main reason to go head on.
As someone who is nearing middle age, it’d be weird to date someone who can’t legally drink.
I HIGHLY recommend avoiding this relationship. He is a kid! You thought so yourself! Think back to who you were at 18 versus who you are today and tell me those two are the same person?
If this was a 30 year old man and an 18 year old woman the comments would be flaming you.
If you’re not interested in him, tell him no, thank him for the flattery and wish him well.
Ooops, looked at your post history. This story is likely bullshit.
I don’t think it’s appropriate. He’s fresh out of high school and you’ve been establishing yourself as an adult for a decade. Theres a power imbalance there. You yourself said you thought of him as a “good kid”. That shows you are not going to be operating as equals, and that’s not right for a relationship.
Why would you want to date such a young guy as a 28 year old woman.. especially since men take so much longer to mature. You yourself even referred to him as a ‘kid’. So ask yourself who do you want to date, a kid or a man?
Girl he is a teenager… I’d decline.
I was MORTIFIED when my cousin’s team mate hit on me and I thought he was a grown ass man looking like that. He was 17 🤢. I was not single and not entertaining his flirting but I thought he was an adult 😭 he looked like some kind of ripped model but when I found out he was my HIGH SCHOOL COUSIN’S TEAM MATE I couldn’t see him as anything but a large child.
Other factors aside, he is your client. Don’t date clients, it’s unprofessional.
Do you feel like you could have a lot in common with a 19 year old? There’s a lot of development that happens between 19 and 28.
It’s so funny seeing how tame the comments are when the older person is a women. 🫢In any case, I wouldn’t continue and put some boundaries letting him know that you aren’t looking to pursue further. Yes, age makes a difference, especially being more experienced in life. There’s not much, if anything, a 19 year old guy can offer a 28 year old woman.
Everyone needs to chill out. If you like him enough to on a date who cares.
Uh, I think you and he would both benefit from you setting some better boundaries – like, don’t date teenaged work clients!??!
Yeah. This ain’t it.
If you’re in any sort of position that benefits him or holds away over his University tenure, do not even think about going! That’s an unfair power advantage on your part – one of the same reasons we as women discourage such dating scenarios. Using this guy for entertainment because you haven’t been on a date is unfair to him. He really likes you, you seem pretty ambivalent about him.
Also reading these comments even if he is shy who cares at least he’s trying and didn’t just come out saying “you’re hot and we should hook up” if a guy who had an interest in me brought me flowers and my favorite Starbucks I probably would’ve asked him out already 😂😂
Everyone who says that the 10 year age gap is nothing, is thinking of it in the context of a 41 year old and 31 year old. At that age, sure, 10 years is nothing.
28 and 18 or 29 and 19 are two VERY different things
The number one reason I rejected my husband when I first met him was that I felt he was too young for me. I’m not saying that you should or shouldn’t go out with this guy, just that age isn’t as big of a qualifier as you think. It truly doesn’t make that much of a difference.