Hi, so here’s the story: I (26F) met a guy (26M) while I was visiting a friend over winter break. He’s a high school friend of the friend I was visiting. We hit it off, but he lives in the south and I live up north, each of us with 0 plans to ever move. We hooked up once while I was there visiting my friend, but then I never expected to see him again. Flash forward 1.5 months later and he has flown to my city to stay with me and I just got back from having flown to his. Both visits were wonderful and we both described them as “magical” and “perfect.” During the in-between visiting time, we texted all day everyday and were super flirty. All was great. Further, when I just visited him, I met his friends and it went well and we even cuddled in front of them, he had told his parents about me, and otherwise had a wonderful and romantic time together that felt very couple-y and cuddly. But, now that I am back in my own city, I feel like we have gone from 100 to 0 overnight. He barely has texted me, and when he has, it’s been borderline rude (e.g., “I am not into valentine’s day and don’t want to participate.”) I am feeling love-bombed and stung. It just doesn’t make sense to me to go from being very realtionship-y while together to cold and callous all of a sudden when apart. Should I cut my losses and end it now? I should add that we made plans for me to come visit him again in 3 weeks and for him to come visit me for a formal event I have coming up at the beginning of April (though neither have been finalized). What should I do?
TL;DR: met a guy who lives in a different city while on vacation, he then came to visit me and then I visited him and all was perfect and couple-y; now that I am just returned from visiting him, he’s being cold and confusing
2 comments
Have you tried to talk to him about this? If not, I would start there and see what he says. He might be dealing with a rough time and coping poorly. But if he can’t communicate about that, then that’s a red flag.
But other than that, I would take it as a sign as he’s not interested and move on. Mixed signals is a no.
>Should I cut my losses and end it now?
For me that would depend on his explanation. What has his response been when you’ve pointed out that you’ve noticed a distinct difference in his communication?