I keep seeing a lot of posts about holidays and wonder if people do these things out of obligation. My husband and I rarely do gifts and if we do it’s at random otherwise for the Holidays we don’t buy each other anything. We plan things to do together that will bring us closer and give us experiences. I feel like society is set up to make others feel bad when others are getting things that they aren’t and it causes a negative impact on the marriage because people think these things are expected when in reality a gift does not say “I love you” like someone who’s always proven to be loyal, faithful, and always there for you but again this is just my opinion and would like to hear what others think.
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You buy your lover gifts because you want to, not because you are obligated to.
My husband and I enjoy “just because” gifts rather than holiday gifts.
That being said, some people like to splurge on each other or appreciate small acknowledgments on holidays. It depends on the individual couple and how each person feels loved and seen. It’s something to discuss and revisit if someone’s feelings change over the years. Comparison may play a role in how people feel about what they do or don’t get, but it seems like most of the time the people who are disappointed are let down by their partner’s lack of effort despite being told exactly how they’d like to celebrate the holiday. If receiving flowers or a nice dinner meant a lot to me and my husband ignored my request, I would be hurt. It wouldn’t matter that my friends got something and I didn’t, it would matter that my husband didn’t listen to me.