TL;DR: At the bottom.
I’m 25 and my girlfriend is 40 however, it doesn’t feel like an age gap because I feel more mature than her. I don’t say that to come across as arrogant, that’s just how our dynamic is. We been dating since last August.
She is used to the traditional way of relationships where the man pays the bills and she does housework. She has no kids and neither do I. We both have degrees in our respective fields, but she hasn’t been working in about 6 months due to surgery. She’s recovered, but refuses to work for reasons that sound like excuses.
I helped her with money almost all the time and was there for her when it counted. The stress is immense and it’s hard to deny her because she gets very defensive when I’m unable to help some days. It’s manipulation that I know all too well. She cuts off sex, is emotionally unavailable, and is unpleasant to be around if the dough isn’t flowing.
Sometimes I feel like she’s another expense, and I’m never able to save money for a car that I need to get to work. I also don’t want to see her struggling, but I told her that she needs to work too, to lighten the load. She’s masterful in her field, so I don’t understand.
Yesterday, I brought pizza and drinks so we can watch movies together and enjoy each other’s company, which was her idea. But, as soon as I get there, she’s aloof and distant. She’s sitting on an opposite couch while I’m sitting on the bed. This was the whole day. I slept on the bed and she slept on the couch. I told her to sleep on the bed this morning so she wouldn’t hurt her back.
I don’t lust for sex, but it’s been 2 months since we’ve had it. I’m pretty attractive and have been a supportive boyfriend. I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong, Reddit. I’m thinking of breaking up with her.
TL;DR: Girlfriend only calls me for help, isn’t intimate, and lashes out when I’m unable to help.
5 comments
Drop her like a bad habit and find someone who is interested in being an equal partner, rather than being a dependent.
Uh yes
Definitely break up with her.
It sounds like she’s coining your younger years as ‘inexperienced’ and hoping she can get away with it.
No kids, refuses to work, refuses to support herself in any way, refuses to have adult conversations, refuses to compromise in a relationship, refuses to acknowledge your desires or needs.
Nah man.
You aren’t her mommy, tell her to get a job or you’re going to leave.
IMO you should leave anyway though,
This doesn’t sound very healthy especially when you can’t even voice your NEEDS without her snapping at you for being more than a wallet.
You’re a whole person who needs to be able to communicate with the partner you’re with.
I wouldn’t stay with her.. she should at least be trying to find a job and if you have no intimacy she basically a roommate that is leeching off of you..
> She is used to the traditional way of relationships where the man pays the bills and she does housework.
Really? Does she really hold that view? If she has a degree and is more than competent in her field, this doesn’t really seem someone who meekly assumes the old fashioned values. What seems much more likely is she got accustomed to the status quo while recovering from surgery and found she preferred other people doing the work for her. Not surprising.
She got a young sugar daddy at our age. Respect.