I think I have pretty good social skills overall and I’m not socially awkward, it’s just that the one area I’m lacking in is the ability to keep a conversation going.
I’ve been trying to improve this skill, so lately I’ve been observing my conversations with people to see what the problem is. While I’m still figuring it out, I think the main issue is that I tend to say things that either the other person has no way of responding to in a way that can continue the conversation, or the thing I say is just an inherent conversation-ender (even though I don’t intend it to be, of course), if that makes sense. I started realizing this after I noticed that a lot of awkward silences follow when I’m the last person to say something.
Now my new issue is trying to figure out how to say things that will keep the convo going 😅 Just wanted to vent a little about this. If anyone has advice, that would also be appreciated.
3 comments
Can you give any examples?
Hey, if you want, practice with me. Tell me of a scenario where the other person said something, you said something, and then the other person said “ok” or similar. Or the other way round. (But tell me literally what you talked about, don’t just describe the convo.) Anyway tell me the last two sentences before the “stop” and I see what I’d come up with in this situation.
Best advice I can give is to ask questions. Speaking from personal experience, so maybe not accurate to everyone, if you come up blank you should try to calm yourself and focus on the other person. Everybody will have something interesting, maybe you’re just asking them to elaborate on something they just talked about, maybe you’re asking about their fancy shoes or the handkerchief they always wear or whatever. The better you get to know someone, the more you’ll have to ask about. Plus, from my experience, very little makes a person happier than learning you’re interested in them (as long as it’s not creepy), so you’ll surely make a fun conversation for everyone. It also helps if you don’t fake interest… it can be hard to create it, but if you can learn how to, it’ll be awesome