I chickened out of having sex and I don’t know what to do next

This is gonna be a rambling mess so I apologize in advance

I (M19) am a straight guy with very little experience in anything. I’ve always assumed I’m fairly normal for a guy my age when it comes to sexual attraction and the like. I usually masturbate around once a day, and I usually watch porn when I do it. The only things I’ve found weird about the way I masturbate and experience attraction are:

1. I’m only attracted to boobs and absolutely nothing else. To say I’m a ‘boob guy’ would be an understatement, no matter how hot a girl is I wouldn’t feel any attraction if she didn’t have boobs.
2. When watching porn, I can only stand watching solo videos. I can’t stomach scenes of people actually having sex, and I don’t care about any plot lines or atmosphere or whatever. I also hate seeing vaginas, if one appears on screen I immediately skip ahead.

I assumed this just had something to do with being removed from the situation, and once I actually became intimate with someone I’d fall into a much more consensual mindset. But NOPE!

I met a great girl recently, and things progressed very quickly. We’ve been actually been dating for about a week, and in that time we’d gone as far as cuddling in our underwear. We’ve made out a ton as well, which I don’t really enjoy but participate in because she enjoys it. However, two nights ago she expressed that she wanted to have sex, and I decided I was ready as well.

I was really worried I wouldn’t end up enjoying it, but in the back of my mind I hoped some instinct would kick in and I’d be okay. At some point (after she told me she couldn’t cum from penetration alone) I suggested fingering her/rubbing her clit. I told myself I’d end up enjoying it and that it wouldn’t be that bad, but it was AWFUL. Like I mentioned before, I’ve never actually looked at a vagina for more than a split second at a time, and looking at hers I just realized I couldn’t stand the sight of one. I’m glad her head was angled in a way where she couldn’t see me, because my head was angled away and my eyes were clenched the whole time. She told me I did fine but I highly doubt it.

After that, I realized I just wasn’t aroused at all anymore. She suggested actual insertion, but the idea just grossed me out far too much and I couldn’t get hard enough to put a condom on. I said I lost the mood and just wanted to go to bed, which naturally made her feel like shit. She kept saying she was sorry and that she just wanted both of us to have a good time, and I tried to comfort her by saying I was just nervous and it’s not her fault.

But the truth is I don’t think I actually ever want to have sex. And I don’t think I ever did. But like, what do I do now? She’s been really excited about the idea of sex, so how do I tell her about this? Is there any way to get any more comfortable with the idea of sex? I feel like a bad boyfriend and she feels like a bad girlfriend and no one’s happy.

TL;DR: I’m a straight guy who’s never been interested in vagina stuff. I though that would change once I saw a real vagina, it did not, and now I don’t know what to do.