I have had several instances in my life where I got ignored even by my parents,
A very good example: One time when I was about 4 or 5, my parents and me were in a shoe store and I was feeling very nauseous.
I kept repeating « dad, dad, dad » while shaking his arm as he was talking to the staff. He didn’t care paying attention and I started throwing up all on the floor.
I noticed that I still carry this with me now, that I wouldn’t say anything at all or stop trying after the second time because I used to get ignored for no reason.
Lately I got into the habit of repeating myself louder and louder everytime I got dismissed or felt like I wasn’t heard until their attention is on me even five or six times and it’s working really good. I think I would even shout at someone now if I would notice they’re actively ignoring me.
Just wondering if that’s rude or just a bit crazy, what do you think?
3 comments
absolutely not. In fact, in some cases, it’s encouraged. When someone interrupts you or dismisses you, it feels like crap. Speak louder and more direct, maybe even hostile. Let them know they’re not all that they think of themselves.
It sucks your parents did this to you as a kid. It totally makes sense that you would feel a need to act out when you’re being ignored. At the same time, if someone shouted at me because it looked like I wasn’t listening properly, I would never feel comfortable around that person again. Especially at work. Gentle reminders and patience go a long way. Some people are assholes, but the vast majority of people who are ignoring you are not doing it intentionally.
Hi OP,
It’s good you have found a way to stop people from dismissing you (besides getting sick) but IMO, just repeating yourself multiple times isn’t a very good solution. People don’t usually talk like that, and it can indeed come off as rude or weird.
How about this–if people ignore you, stop and think about how you can rephrase what you said into a shorter, punchier statement, containing only the core point you want to make.