Just curious what your thoughts are if you match with people on dating apps, but they only seem to answer your questions without asking you any back. Is it too preemptive to not give them a chance or is it possible they just don’t have the same chatting etiquette as you?
Clarification: I’m talking about IMMEDIATELY after you match.
21 comments
Don’t waste time. Effort goes both ways and If it feels like I’m interrogating the person while getting to know them I unmatch.
Bounce. Or go straight for the date invite.
I’ve noticed when this is happening, if you ask for a date, they disappear.
Give them a chance. I will admit I am kind of guilty of this, however it’s just because I’m an introvert and get nervous when I go on dates and I’m kind of bad at small talk so I prefer to save my questions for if and when we meet so it gives me things to talk about.
I make 2 to 3 attempts, asking questions based on their profile and then I move on. How hard is it to write-You? I have even tried to prompt-any questions for me? I received one reply, the man said no, he liked the way the conversation was going. No reference to or questions from my profile = no interest in me…next!
I’m usually light on the questions myself via text. I ask them in person. Where I can read your body language. I can pick up dishonesty and interest levels much better that way. I’m not interested in spending 2 weeks texting only to meet a completely different person than what I imagined through text Q/A.
Asking questions over chat is not fun or useful. I only use the apps to set up the initial date and prefer to get to know the other person organically and in person.
Just ask them out already.
I’m so glad I read this! I think if someone was interested- they would at least ask “what about you?” So- no questions for me- on to the next!
If I ask 2-3 questions and don’t get any in return, I stop chatting.
If you expect me to carry the conversation, I’m going to set it down
Man this happens to like 90% of my matchs, why even bother answering questions if your not interested in the person you talking to
I block them relatively quickly when this happens, which is often. A lot of self consumed people it seems.
Give them chance.
Either they are talking to many people and haven’t zeroed in. Or aren’t really interested in getting to know you.
I think it’s usually just a barometer of enthusiasm. Some people are probably too clueless to know they have to ask questions of the other person, but I think most are aware and would know how to ask questions if they found their celebrity crush on the app. If I ask 3 questions and nothing in return, then I just assume the guy isn’t actually that into me and move on.
Ugh this is happening to me a TON and it’s very aggravating. I will ask 2-3 questions and if there’s nothing really reciprocal then I give a final answer that is more of a comment without any question attached to it, and see what they do. If they aren’t interested they do nothing with the comment and then that’s the clear end of the conversation. I’m starting to think it’s automatic right-swipers who decide they’re not interested once I message and they look at my full profile.
Some people just like the ego boost. I matched with one of those dudes recently and decided to perform an experiment out of boredom. He answered around 30 messages before finally responding with, “and you?” My friends found it hilarious.
They are self absorbed! I’ve found this when just trying to make friends as well. The moment I feel like I’m conducting an interview, I don’t bother trying to chat anymore. Major red flag for me.
I find they aren’t better in person (found out when I was younger) and I don’t want the onus to be on me conversationally. I wouldn’t bother
I text the way I speak and I have never had a conversation where I had to tell my anecdote and follow it with “and you?”
I’m used to conversations where people respond with “That’s hilarious. It reminds me of this one time when…” and conversation develops from there.
In fact, the times I’ve had to ask people to respond I shrug it off as a bad conversationalist and move on.
My bf and I met on Hinge. He had a quote on his profile along with pics and info. My first message to him was in response to his quote and that it made me think of an article I’d just read. We immediately jumped into a deep but not intimate conversation. Nine months later and I’ve never had to ask “what about you?”
If she doesn’t ask for a dick pic within three messages I’m done.
Ugh, I get fed up with this very quickly! I get some people might be nervous, but I want to know that they’re curious about me, that they’re interested in getting to know my personality. It gives me the impression they’re the sort of person who only ever talks about themselves. Plus the conversation is just really hard work!