Hello y’all! Today is Valentine’s and I gifted my husband something that he has been drooling on for sometime. And he refused to take it. I need some help on how to process it and what would you do in this situation.
I gifted him a new Apple Watch leather strap for his existing watch. It is 100 euros worth. He had been eyeing on this one from a long time and he uses similar color leather accessories for all his digital products like I phone, I pad and AirPods. I cannot gift him upgraded watch by thought it would be nice to get a band of his choice.
Also I am not clear what his problem is- whether not to buy any gift for him anything or not to buy expensive gifts for him.
His argument- That I earn money with such hardships and spending reasonable amount on a gift is not good. He wants to return it and buy something of lower price if I still insist on buying a gift for him.
My argument- firstly, it’s not too expensive, it’s within my budget. I like to give gifts and receive gifts. I had been in and out of work so in past years (from covid) I had no money but now, I have an income and I like to do things for myself and people I love. Why is it so hard for him to accept it. I spend money on things of interest and within my monthly spending budget. I buy gifts for my sister and niece and other people within my budget from my pocket. I feel confident that I can buy things for myself and people I love.
Some background- we have been married over 10 years and we don’t have children and we are enjoying our lives. We like to stay frugal in lot of areas and spend in things we like such as travel, learning etc. My husband hates shopping and spending money on clothes/ shoes/ fashion/ what others are buying. He earns 4 times more than me. I have bought gifts for him in past and in the recent years we have not been gifting each other anything major. He did gift me few things in past two years on my birthday.
Sorry for long post. Happy to answer questions if you’d like to understand my situation better to help me out here. And Thank you for your time 🙂
TLDR- He earns more than me and I have been in and out of work. He likes to stay frugal and I support it. I have also changed a lot for example, think about what I want to have vs need to have, I consider reused things and shop things I absolutely love and feel are not fashion or temporary. I am not overly shopaholic but I do treat myself within my spending budget and save remaining income. And I have bought lot of things for him in past when I had more money/ disposable income.
4 comments
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I intentionally did not wanted to share the amount nor the gift item. I want to understand what your thoughts are on this.
Your husband has expressed a reasonable boundary and there’s no reason you shouldn’t respect it. You didn’t do anything “wrong” here, but now you know what his preference is. You could try talking him into keeping it, and tell him from now on you won’t do something like this again, or you could return it. In the future, maybe rather than buying something expensive for him, do something nice for him.
Sounds like he doesn’t know how to receive. And enjoy some pleasures of life. He should also take pleasure in the fact that you got pleasure from giving him this gift. It’s not like you’re doing this every day. I wouldn’t let that bother you. Tell him you won’t ever do it again so he will learn to appreciate this gift.