Hello all, started dating again, running into issues with the few guys I’ve been trying with. Finding a common theme where guys want to move way to fast I’m talking like we are just texting and they are telling me they want to marry me and me have their kids
Anyways a guy I’ve been talking to is flying from Amsterdam to the us- fl where I am today to take me to dinner and now he changed his entire flight around so he can fly with me, drive me to my home in Boston tomorrow .
I feel. It’s too much. Like now I’m spending the whole night with him today and all day tomorrow traveling with this guy tomorrow
And every word in text is about how he wants to marry me and really sweet things but it’s all insanely over the top.
Why. It’s too much, I want space. And now I’m feeling icky about being stuck with this guy for like 24 hours. I don’t think I need to even mention that he’s probably going to try and sleep with me because it’s a given and I do not want to
Why are there just not like normal men anymore.
24 comments
There are ” normal “men out there, you just haven’t stumbled upon one yet.
You are hitting people who have fantasy in their minds. Some man like to move fast if inexperienced and best they ever had was you. So try to move fast
There’s a line between expressing your intentions and going over the top. But the line varies for everyone, some women want to hear those things, others don’t.
Personally I always mention that Im dating to marry, and always ask the women if they are looking the same as that’s what I am dating for and I want our goals to align before we invest time in eachother but after that I wouldn’t mention it, maybe playfully mention it now and then to tease but I wouldn’t be saying every single time or in every text that I want to marry you etc.
In your case, I think it is too much yes, I think they guy also changing all his plans and you not being happy or comfortable with that shows a lack of communication and understanding between both of you. I think you need to communicate with him and tell him how your feeling and what it is you want, make your feeling known that you think he is coming on too strongly and listen to why he is like that, maybe it’s how previous women he dates wanted to be treated as such & he doesn’t yet understand that your not like them.
I don’t think it’s anything that can’t be fixed with communication, two things will happen, you’ll talk, both understand eachother better & come to a compromise or you’ll talk, he won’t understand or change and then you should end it and you’ve dodged a bullet.
Oh hell to the no!!! It sounds pushy AF because the overseas dude is imposing his will. If he is really genuine then explain to him that you don’t feel comfortable enough to be put in a situation where you would have to spend the night with someone you are just meeting face to face. And if the young fellow is claiming his love for you by saying he wants to marry you and have little chitlens with you, these are huge red flags. This dude sounds like a huge pain in the arse ….
Im on the other side of the spectrum where ive had girls who thought i was uninterested since i didnt have sex on the first date lol. Dating is just a complicated hell to begin with, trust me you will find the proper guy. Like goldilocks, one is gonna be just right lol.
I’ve heard a good few accounts of women experiencing this especially as of late… I think there is a serious problem out there… most men are clearly not getting attention from women and are VERY desperate…
Women have it way to easy
You really need too reconsider staying with the guy you’ve never met for 24 hours alone!
I think when people act like this, they’re trying to speed through the whole thing to get you hooked. It’s manipulation, similar to love bombing. This person doesn’t know you, how could they know if they want your kids? Red flag. I would not proceed.
How did you end up talking to a guy from Amsterdam? Seems like you need more traditional dating practices yourself to meet more normal men
Normal men exist. You’re probably just not attracted to them. And it doesn’t have to be a physical thing. It could be that normal men’s personality isn’t your taste. Hence why you keep attracting and entertaining love-bombers.
Jesus that sounds like a manic episode to my uninformed ass
He could be a clinger. This likely won’t end well.
He has money and wants to marry an American woman. I don’t see anything else in between. Plus, you might be attractive, so it’s a win-win for him. And he probably has traditional values. A lot of men outside the United States have a different perspective on dating. Unlike here, they don’t play the texting until it fades away kinda drama, and if they like you, they go for you. If you’re not comfortable being with serious men, try limiting your dating pool to just Americans. I think most American men like the phrase “we’ll see where it goes and looking to chill.
After reading your post OP I think we’re meant for each other and I have arranged for you to meet my parents on Sunday.
Oh and happy Valentine’s Day and I love you ❤️
Gross. That sounds exhausting. Only coffee dates and taking it slow for me.
Just browsed your profile and insta… you put yourself out there and you’re clearly very attractive he’s probably trying to lock you down as he knows there are other guys waiting in the wings for a shot?
People move as fast as others allow them to. If someone is pressuring you to do something you don’t want its up to you to put a stop to it.
I’ve been pretty over the top my entire dating life, part of it is learning from movies in my experience, but also part of it is not wanting to leave any ambiguity about my feelings and intentions. The guy you’re talking about in your post is taking it further than I would, but I don’t have a good explanation or solution for you. There’s plenty of guys that will play their cards at a pace you’re comfortable with, some that will go way too fast, and some that will make you question their interest at all.
I just recommend you keep looking, I’m sorry for our behavior, but it’s not universal I promise
OK that is pure red flag material and it’s not the vast majority of men out there.
Girl. Then tell him no! It’s not like the guy is coming to abduct and hold you hostage. You have a voice, so use it. If you don’t want to hang with this men all day then cancel the date.
Women don’t need them anymore to survive. Because we can provide for ourselves. They know this so they’re trying to snatch one up
It because we’re worried if we move slow that you’ll think we’re boring cause we haven’t made moves yet
Can never win with women
Update on this- wasn’t bad. He did legit pull up rings to look at at dinner 😂 also legit took my phone and looked at texts quick . I’m pretty sure he’s obsessed with me and that I need to run away because it doesn’t seem healthy at all 😀