(F26). I feel like I get depressed a lot. I live alone and am currently going through a very rigorous graduate program. Living alone really creates a spiral of negative thoughts that just sit there. I have a therapist and I have been working through things but I still get depressed a lot. I have really good friends and a good hobby to connect with people but I feel like there’s no one I really connect with. I feel blocked from being able to tell my friends my true feelings all the time. I feel like they get annoyed if I do it too many times. I just want someone I truly connect with and can be my ride-or-die friend. Someone who will always be there for me and that I can always be there for them. I find that some are these traits are in some of my friends and other traits are in my other friends. When I’m hurting I just want to be able to talk to someone unconditionally, freely, without feeling like a burden. But friendships these days always feel like they have business hours.
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I think you should ask yourself why you feel lonely. Like why does talking to someone help you? Why does sharing your burden feel so good? Many people have lives and work that does not align with others, which is something you have noticed. I know loneliness feels like shit.
If you cannot talk to anyone then it might be good to write to yourself. Write to your past self, write to your future self, or just write to your current self. For me whenever I have problems I create a second me. This person in my head is literally there to ask questions or just hear me. He(since I am a dude) is also there to give feedback. It goes like a script where I say I feel like x and maybe the reason why. Then he asks some random question like why do you feel like this is it because x? Then I think a little and answer and the conversation keeps happening till I understand why I feel like this. It might go analytical and I might try to find a solution too.
In programming this is called the “Rubber Duck Debugging.” But you talk to a rubber duck to solve the programming problem.
Other than that you gotta find friends that you can open up to. Ask questions that might lead to deeper thought and feelings. See if they will open up, but you have to open up a bit too. It is a reciprocal action. You open up a bit they respond, then the conversation starts. Some people will respond others may choose to move the question away.
I think, aside from a therapist, a romantic partner or *very+ patient sibling would provide this level of communication.
aww I’m sorry, yea it’s nice to have someone to talk to for long conversations and hangouts too. Don’t feel too sad a lot of ppl are in similar situations. Maybe the alone part and the rigorous studies are combining to stress you more. You might just need like a short vacay to decompress
you got pets?
I got you dawg, chin up shoulders back aint no one bringing homegirl down!
Hey do you get enough sleep? Its a small thing but once someone told me that feeling low is linked to sleep deprivation aswell, I notice it in everyday life aswell.
When I lack sleep I feel unattractive, unmotivated and suddenly every Problem seems bigger than it is.
Now back to your issue
What youre describing is very relatable, its the reason people generally want realtionships. I (M27) am in the same situation as you right now, friends beeing busy is pretty normal we all have our lives and our own package we carry some heavier some lighter. That gets harder the older we get. My best friends for example nearly dont exist outside their job anymore. I cant promise you to be your next ride-to-die friend but I can offer you an open ear and the anonymity of beeing a stranger on the internet if you want to DM me.
aw I can relate to this.. If i were to be in this position again, think itd be nice to have someone you can be depressed and lonely with -_- just vibe with the big sad
It’s also important to separate the depression from exhaustion. I sometimes recognise that when being very tired, the negative spiral easily gets on. That’s why I say to myself that go to sleep and rethink this tomorrow.
Same buddy