I am at a point of just genuine confusion. To preface, I am going to graduate school soon, and am potentially going to school a few hours away, she is finishing up undergrad. We have a good relationship, but recently things have changed a bit. She has become very angry/ upset if i go out to a bar on the weekend with my only guy friends. She says i’m being disrespectful, breaking boundaries, and I don’t know what to do. I work a 9-5, and the only times I really see my friends are like once a weekend on a saturday or something we’ll go for drinks. I feel like that can’t possibly be wrong, but shes making me double think it. I don’t cheat on her, i work full time, i treat her right, i plan dates for her, i show her attention, and she always says the opposite. She says I don’t want to see her, id rather be with my friends, etc., things that just aren’t true. I have tried for a month now to explain to her all of this, and she won’t listen. She insists she isn’t trying to take my from my friends, but myself and our friend group have fun, etc. by going out and having a few drinks. I have no drinking issues, I don’t blackout when i drink, none of that. My issue is, when i’m in school that’s gonna have to become my number one priority, and i don’t know a way this relationship can continue unless she understands this. I love her so much, i dont know what to do.
edit: my therapist has told me that this won’t work long term unless she accepts an ultimatum (if that means anything)
3 comments
Is she worth sacrificing part of yourself for?
She should be enhancing your life, not defining it. She wants control. If you yield to this, she’ll be demanding things of you for the entire course of your relationship. Tell her you’re not giving up your relationships with your friends and that’s non-negotiable. If she can’t accept that then walk.
Okay, what about you invite her for a drink with you and your friends and that your friends also bring their girlfriends. Would that not be an option?