I (21F) met this guy (23M) a month ago at a work event in my state. He lives in another state a 12 hour drive away. We hit it off but I’m the one who asked him to ‘keep in contact’ – he immediately got my number, called it to confirm it was right, gave me a hug and all that. He texted me afterwards to check I got home safely. So despite me being the one to initiate the number exchange, I think that was a good sign he was interested at first?
We texted almost everyday for awhile and it was flirtatious too. The problem was I found out that we had quite different values so I mentioned that were weren’t ‘on the same page’. We didn’t speak for almost a week afterwards until I reached out asking for genuine advice on a work matter. He replied saying he was thinking of me and he was super helpful and supportive but as soon as the conversation wasn’t work related, he was really dry and short. So I told him that I don’t think our values are all that different because I’d thought about it more. He agreed and was happy that we were ‘on the same page’ again. We then continued to talk for another week or so, with talks of travelling to meet up.
Usually we both start the conversation and perhaps he asks more questions to keep it going although he can be dry too.. and I may just not reply, especially if it’s late and I fall asleep. (I’m realising this may be my downfall lol). Last we spoke a few days ago, i said goodnight around 9pm because i was so tired and he replied saying goodnight. But now it’s been a few days and neither of us have reached out. I feel like he may have lost interest because of what happened when it seemed that our values didn’t align.. Today’s Valentine’s Day so maybe it’s a bit awkward for that too and he feels pressure to mention it if he reaches out? Should I reach out? Just mutual fade? I’d be upset still if we didn’t continue talking but don’t want to come across too strong either. We also work for the same company so I wanna be mindful of that
3 comments
He lives 12 hours away.
You don’t have to talk to your penpal every day. Sometimes, once a week is fine.
Maybe you can meet up at the next work event for a coffee or dinner.
Sometimes people can be physically attracted to eachother only to realize later that there is no chemistry… its sad but thats life. You said it yourself when you said you “werent on the same page”. You are young im sure you will eventually meet a guy where it “clicks” and then dont have to worry about the stupid texting games
Hey, a lot of our reactions can sometimes be about protecting our own feelings. Like you said, you don’t wanna come off too strong. And from the sound of it, he probably is protecting his. It’s a one of, it’s easier to avoid losing a relationship than trying to create one. I’d say go for it, maybe try and explain where your minds at. If you’re on the same page, that should do the trick. If not, can’t say you didn’t try