Me and my partner was watching reality tv. It was about long distance relationships. In this episode one swedish guy visit his girlfriend in the philipines, with him is his bonus mom. She was crying loudly because the girl’s family was so poor and she was shocked by the poverty. My partner mentioned how kind she was.
I don’t know why he bothered me that much by saying that. Maybe because I am more reserved about my emotions and I feel like he doesn’t always notice them in me and when I have been crying which I almost never do when there’s people around he has been kinda rejecting. So it made me feel he is insincere and falls for insincere. I don’t know why I am so upset over nothing, we have been really good these months but right now I just need a bit of space.
Why does it annoy me this much, am I overreacting?
Tl;dr: it made me upset hearing my partner complimenting someone else crying for somebody, I have felt emotionally neglected by him before, am I overreacting?
2 comments
Of course you’re overreacting. Do you really believe you’re the most *everything* person in the entire world? The most beautiful, the smartest, the kindest, the funniest, the one with the best hair, the best fashion sense, the best pets, the most well-read, the most well-traveled—literally the absolute best by every possible measure?
Do you expect your partner to believe that you are?
There are always people who are “more.” More this; better that. But they’re not *you*, and he’s choosing to be with *you.* Right? So…he’s allowed to know that other people exist, and he’s allowed to notice things about them, and punishing him for that is unreasonable and unfair.
Hey!
So you are overreacting to your boyfriend saying something offhand about a lady on TV. But not because you’re crazy or dramatic. It’s because you’re not ACTUALLY reacting to that. You are upset about something deeper that you may not be able to express yet, so it’s coming out in this way.
I think your answer might be right in this post – I think you are feeling neglected by him when you need comfort. If that’s it, or something like it, I would talk to him about that. Bring up the bigger issue and don’t mention the lady on TV, because that will undermine your more important points.
I hope this helps!