me and bf have been together for over 2 months now. we’ve known eachother at work before we dated and then he asked me out and we’ve been inseparable since.
a few weeks ago i noticed hes been distant and dry on text. we ask eachother the same questions on text every single day and the convos are just so boring. they aren’t even convos anymore- it’s more so just checking up on eachother and then the convo dies out. We only see eachother once a week due to our schedules and personal lives.
i brought this up to him a few times and his answer is just “im not a good texter” “id rather have real convos in person” and other things along those lines.
tonight we discussed this again and he told me i deserved better and i can find way better than him. im so heartbroken he can say this bc i do care about him so much. i asked him if hes going through something (which im sure he is) and he said “even if i was i wouldnt wanna tell you bc i dont want it to become your problem”. i know hes insecure about himself to a certain extent but this just seems like hes indirectly telling me to leave him. he keeps telling me he wants me in his life and that he cares about me, but then says things like this.
i really dont want to break up with him. he really is a good person and we were doing so so good. how do i deal with this? i want to give him space but i also dont want to ignore this bc it’s affecting our relationship.
tldr; bf said i deserve better but he wants this to work/he cares abt me
6 comments
He’s trying to let you down easy, he is telling you that he isn’t interested
He wants to break up with you but doesn’t have the balls to do it directly.
” you are right” and block
He’s probably going through something, and feeling like he can’t manage that and to be a good partner at the same time. That you deserve better because he can only receive from you without giving back until he gets better. People in this situation often feel like they’re nothing but burdens on others.
As other people say, it could be that he wants to break up but blame himself (since you haven’t done him any wrong), but I think it’s quite negative to assume this already.
You can be supportive and let him know that you still love him when he’s feeling down.
“You deserve better” is the polite way of saying he wants out. Let him go.
Machete don’t text.
Seriously, some people don’t text, write, or communicate effectively in that way. They’re better off with a phone conversation, or seeing you in person.
That said, sounds like he has a massive self-esteem issue. He literally doesn’t feel worthy of you or your attention, and he’s expressing that literally by telling you that you deserve better.
If you’re OK with how he is – you tell him that he can’t decide what you do and don’t deserve, you know what you want, and you want him.
Be prepared to have to mentally support him indefinitely, this won’t be an easy relationship. With only two months invested thus far, you need to decide if it’s worth continuing.