Straight men, have you ever been attracted to female co-workers and what did you do?

48 comments

  1. Yeah all the time. Don’t shit where you eat. There are plenty of attractive women out there that don’t come with the risk of an HR complaint.

  3. All the time. Dated a few. Pro tip: do not get involved at all. Shit is like high school relationships, they go bad fast and everyone will know about it.

    Do not the coworker.

  4. Listen brother, if you’re asking this question it’s not too late for you. Just let it go man, let it go.

    I was attracted to a female co-worker and we dated for like a year. It was great, it was fun, definitely a turn on sneaking around together. I ignored all the jokes and advice that was given to me.

    The reality is, there’s always a chance it can be fun and end up happily ever after. However more often than not, it ends and when it does it’s bad. This gets even worse when you have mutual friends that are coworkers. Everything gets awkward. 9/10 would not recommend.

  8. Yes, but never acted on it.

    If you are at a job that you plan on leaving relatively soon, then sure, shoot your shot. If you plan on being at that job for a longer period of time, then you should not act on it.

  10. I dated a couple of them, one was short lived and didn’t go anywhere. The other ended badly.

    2/10, do at your own risk.

  12. All the time! What did I do about it when I was in a shitty low-wage job? I went for it! What did I do when I was in a very high paying job with my reputation on the line? Never bothered to consider making a move because: (1) I’m not stupid, (2) refer to one.

  14. Yes, plenty of them. Mostly just keep it to myself, unless they are open to meeting up outside of work. There have been a couple that led to something-ish:

    1. I bonded with one woman and we connected on an intellectual level before we hung out in public. There was mutual attraction – I caught her checking me out a few times at work. During one of our meet ups, I made my move and told her I wanted to see her romantically (not in those words).

    Her eyes sparkled and she blushed. Then she told me she was in a complicated situation with another man. I told her I respect that, then I stopped hitting on her and kept things professional at work. I could tell she monitored what she said about her relationship when I was around, until I told her not to worry about me anymore. She ended up quitting her job and moving away with him, but we still keep in touch every once in awhile. She was recently divorced and wanted kids, so I think she saw him as the more viable option. I was not ready for that, and I think she knew it. She ended up getting a better job and has a kid, so I’m happy for her. But damn, she was so fine and smart as hell.

    2) Worked with a woman who was my boss. We would hang out outside of work, but it was really just as friends, at least from my perspective. Again, connected on an intellectual level. We would travel for work and nothing crazy would ever happen. Then, it just so happened a bunch of my coworkers and I were moving on to other jobs at the same time, so most of the company met up at a bar to celebrate. My boss was all of a sudden VERY interested in hanging out with me. She bought me drinks and talked to me all night. She was giggly and flirty. I was uncomfortable because of all my coworkers, but nobody seemed to care, so I relaxed. Eventually, she ended up leaning into me and grinding her body on me when we found a secluded corner, even though people could still see us. I walked her back to her apartment and, well, yeah. We saw each other on and off for a long, long time. Again, we still keep in touch, but our lives never seemed to collide to make a relationship work.

    ​

    Life is crazy. No ragrets.

    ​

    edit: I don’t know how to fix the formatting.

  16. Yeah. Naturally, it will happen at some point in your career. But unless you feel like risking an HR complaint or some awkward interactions, I wouldn’t act on those feelings. There are attractive women outside of work.

  17. I used to work for my now girlfriend so, yeah you could say so. Did nothing for a year but it was obvious we were into each other. Then we started having sex quite often, then i quit, then we started dating

  19. You can be rock hard, red in the face and 4 inches from a crushes’ lips and not act on it at all. Be a man, and stick by your commitments. Commuting to a proffesional work environment is among those commitments.

    Or just go job hunting if you think it’s worth it

  21. Constantly and not much.

    Very few ways to make it work for you – and if it doesn’t you’ve rather shat on your own doorstep.

    At most focus on striking up a genuine friendship, it’ll give her a chance (which she almost certainly won’t take) to move things on, and you a chance to work out if you love her, like her or just fancy her. And once you no longer work together, you might deem it worth risking making a move.

  23. Realistically the only place I personally can meet and get to know women, but far too dangerous and potentially awkward,

  26. I did nothing because I followed the cliche “don’t shit where you eat” advice. She started dating a different coworker. I no longer work there, she no longer works there, and she’s still happily in a relationship with my old coworker.

  29. 1. Working as a barback and planning on moving on in six months? Working back-of-house in a restaurant? Not the best idea, but it’s probably not life-rearranging if it goes south. Service industry folks tend to date each other, at least in my town.
    2. Working corporate, nonprofit, or anywhere in an office? Don’t do it. She’s your coworker, not your friend. A bad breakup or rumors can land you in hot water and ruin your reputation and your career. If that happens, see #1, because that’s where you might end up when you get a rep for being “creepy” after you are told to quietly resign and clean out your desk.

  30. Sure, I have been attracted to co-workers in the past. I did nothing with them because you don’t shit where you eat.

  31. Yup, all the time. And I do nothing about it because I am married and they are my coworkers. Even if I wasn’t married, I still wouldn’t hit on my coworkers or ask them out because I like my job.

  32. Yes, and we acted on our mutual attraction. I left the company we were working for at the time for a better opportunity, before our fling got caught up in workplace drama. Still, I recommend you follow the advice, “don’t shit where you eat.”

  33. I have. And I did fuck all about it. I saw several times that dating coworkers didn’t exactly work out for people and I’m trying to keep my life as drama free as possible.

  35. I’m a man who shits on the whole “don’t shit where you eat” philosophy quite a bit. It’s silly and overly cautious to my mind. Unless you only meet girls on dating apps or approach complete strangers at bars, then you have to shit where you eat. Whether it be in the workplace, in college or just in your general social circle. And if you break up things will get awkward and uncomfortable. It can be pretty catastrophic actually. But people have this delusion that you can milk the good parts out of life and not have to deal with the bad parts. But that’s just wrong. Especially when it comes to relationships. You are at some point going to have a bad experience with love, but you shouldn’t let that get in the way of having a good one

    All that being said, you are playing with fire. So you have to be very careful. My recommendation would be that if you have a genuine interest in this girl and could see a long-term relationship forming, then take a chance. If it ends badly and you can’t suffer the consequences, then you’ll know not to do it again. But if it goes well, it could be something beautiful. However, if this is just a girl you think is hot, and you just want to fuck her… It’s not worth it bro. Not at all. The potential fallout of a situation like this can be severe. I think it’s worth that risk for love. But it certainly isn’t worth it for lust. So rub one out before ya see her, and maybe try that stranger at a bar thing if you want to get your cucumber pickled.

  37. Fucked one for a couple of years. Don’t recommend doing that though. Never put your dick where you get your money.

    Edit: or Clit

  38. Yes and respected their space and autonomy so as not to cause problems among colleagues trying to do their job.

  39. She’s sitting next to me now. Happily married. Oddly enough, I wasn’t attracted to her at all initially. Just kind of fell in love and realized I want to be with her forever.

    The other three were god damn nightmares. Choose carefully.

  48. relationship and ended after 1,5 years. we worked togheter with no problem after that.

    so if you like someone just go for it.

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