Is it normal to feel that you are not valued, loved, supported or worthy of happiness?

I’m (F/37) pretty sure my husband (M/37) hates me. He’s overly critical of me. No matter what I do, it’s never good enough. He’s passive aggressive. He insulting. He treats me like an unwanted step-child. He shows me no respect. He chooses never to be around me. He doesn’t sleep in our bed. We haven’t had intimate relations in close to three years.

He’s got my family on his side, so I can’t talk to my sister or my mom; they just tell me not to upset him or that I’m too dramatic or they blame my mental illness, which only developed after I was married.

I literally hate life. I just cry all the time. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore. I’ve had three relationships in my life and they’ve all been similar to this and two out of three of them, including my husband have also cheated on me and blamed me for it.

I fully believe I must not be worthy of happiness. All I want is for my daughters (F/8) to grow up and have better partners than I did. I secretly hope they both turn out to be lesbians so they don’t have to endure the pain that comes with men.

TL; DR; : Will I ever be enough for my spouse? Is it normal for your family to support your spouse over you?

9 comments

  1. I really hope this is a joke- no, it’s not normal to feel unloved and unhappy with your partner or for your family to support them over you. Please get therapy.

  2. Your daughters will end up with similarly shitty partners unless you leave this relationship and show them that this treatment is unacceptable.

  3. Of course you’re worthy and enough. Please leave, OP. If not for you, for your daughter. By staying you’re teaching her that this is an acceptable way to live, with a spouse that hates her and makes her feel worthless. You deserve better.

  4. Girl, I don’t think this is a question about being enough vs. him giving a shit. You don’t deserve to be treated this way. It takes a lot to pull yourself together and move on. I did it and still think to myself that if I just didn’t pull the trigger, then I would still be unhappy. Do what’s best for you and your kids. You still have a lot of life left to live!

  6. You are being emotionally abused. What you are experiencing is trauma. Find help. Get out. Nothing you are experiencing is normal, ok?

    You deserve so much love and happiness. Get out now, while you still have the opportunity to show your littles they deserve love and happiness too 💜

  7. You need to start making an exit plan, like… right now. Do you have any education or work skills? If not, get some. Don’t waste any more of your life than you have to in this situation.

    ​

    I was in your situation for a little while. Trust me, life can be sweet and exhilarating and satisfying. And if your family doesn’t support you, fuck ’em. You can create a new network of people to be your family. You can support yourself and make your own way. Decide that you want to be happy and make it happen.

  8. You determine your worth, not others. Leave if you’re not loved or valued, stick up for yourself.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like