Throwaway for obvious reasons.
So me (20M) and my boyfriend (22M) have been together for over 3 years now. I love him to death. We’ve literally been through EVERYTHING together, we’ve grown so much, I look forward to spending the rest of my life with him. Our sex life is pretty good as well, it’s not like I’m not satisfied or anything, plus it’s not even that big of a deal for me. Anyways, I’ve been feeling very attracted to a new guy in our friend group and it’s driving me up the wall. Like he just pops up in my head and there are images of us doing stuff etc etc. He’s a little mysterious, charming, objectively attractive. I understand that crushes are just human nature but I am SO uncomfortable with myself. Plus he’s been weirdly affectionate with me and our mutual friend told me that he draws me a lot in his sketchbook. He’s not flirty with me, not inappropriate in any way, it’s just that now rumour has it that he has feelings for me.
From a logical standpoint I can understand why this is happening. It’s normal to miss the “thrill” of a new relationship and it’s normal to find someone attractive. I’m asking on advice on how to make it stop without losing him as a friend bc he’s genuinely such a good person and I am so scared of just ruining everything. I love my boyfriend a lot but I think part of the problem is that I “baby” him a lot, like I took on a “parental” (ew) role, babytalking, asking him if he’d eaten, planning everything, I also usually dom even though I’m a switch bc I’m trans and bottoming makes me insanely dysphoric, and the images of me and that new guy that pop up in my head are usually the other way around.
I want to make it stop and somehow transfer these feelings of excitement and thrill onto my bf whom I would literally DIE for. I feel guilty even though I haven’t done anything and will never ever ever show any signs of attraction to another person. Help,