I’m a man and I don’t like the chase and this should be normalized

Just a premise: I’m Italian and this may be cultural. I’ve learnt that while men are very similar in most places, the dating culture affects women and their behaviours much more. I come from a country where people are naturally passionate and warm about everything and this includes dating, so this may not work everywhere.

When I meet a woman, if I sense that she doesn’t like me, then I won’t pursue her. I know women like to say that they can’t tell if they find a guy attractive unless they have spent a long time around him, but I’ve learnt that it is totally possible as it has happened to me multiple times (I admit I’m conventionally attractive, I have good looks, I’d even give myself a solid 7.5/10, but I’m no Brad Pitt, if it can happen to me, it can happen to other men and I’ve seen it happen indeed)

If I meet a woman and I’m enthusiastic to get to know her, but she doesn’t reciprocate because she doesn’t find me attractive, then we’re already starting on the wrong foot. Why should I put any effort into a woman who doesn’t like me and let her walk over me? Forget about the romantic movies, chemistry and physical attraction are important and these things take very little time, chasing is overrated.

I’ve had this conversation with women a few times (mainly foreign women) and they always say ”that’s good, but you may end up missing on some amazing women if you automatically filter them out because they don’t like you quickly”.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m here to give advice and share views, I wouldn’t want to sound like a dictator, but that, in my experience, has always turned out to be false. I’ve learnt that the women who need a long time are usually the ones who end up being a little boring once we’re in a relationship anyway because they aren’t very ”passionate” women or lovers, that’s just not their nature.

And convincing a woman to sleep with you is infinitely more boring than a woman who is passionate about you from the get go and is enthusiastic to get to know you and sleep with you and make it happen. That’s not even a contest.

So filtering them out is a win in my eyes, I don’t feel like I’m wasting opportunities to meet amazing women, they may be amazing in other areas (as friends at best), but when it comes to dating, I like women who show some passion from the get go. The calculative, long games aren’t my cup of tea.

It’s also not fair that men are always expected to chase, the women who act like this are the cause of this problem because if they don’t find you attractive when they meet you, then they’re obviously waiting to be pursued and chased. Or nothing will happen because you’ll both ignore each other, and imo it’s not fair that women expect this special treatment just because they’re women.