In College – no real connections

Hello,

I posted this yesterday, but I guess I will try again because it got pushed under a lot of posts.

I, [19M], am having trouble making friends in college. I would say that I am the “quiet kid” in class, and I haven’t gotten officially diagnosed with social anxiety (with some perfectionist symptoms), autism, and the like, but I do feel like that I have some symptoms of the given disorders. From an outside perspective, people may think of me as aloof or disconnected or maybe even apathetic. However, if there is a class where it gives me the opportunity to lead a small group or something, I’d be all for it. In complete social situations, like a group conversation, I would be quiet most of the time. I have this common problem where I would think too much about what I was going to say that the conversation drifts onto the next subject. This is mitigated when the conversation is one-on-one and we can go deep. I have problems approaching people first because I worry that I’m going to be awkward and fuck up.

In college, I tried joining clubs that pique my interest, but so far I only have acquaintances, not friends. Aside from school and clubs, I mostly study in the library or at home, or do my hobbies, which are mostly solitary activities. I have actual good friends since high school, but they are not in the same college as me. I think that is part of the problem. I get so used to my old friend group that I do not know how to make new ones. I still have contact with these friends, but I only speak with them occasionally due to my classes and their classes.

Recently, a girl from a class that I kind of had a crush on approached and asked me to join her study group. I thought she was also showing signs of attraction, but only to my disappointment, she has a boyfriend. FYI: I did not ask anything about her relationships or my interest in her leading up to that. That made me feel even more sad and lonely. We only had 1 study group meeting so far, and I don’t think we would’ve worked anyway because she seemed to be a more sensation seeking person and I am myself. Since then, no messages in the study group chat. I feel like getting know her group more even with my issues, but part of me wants to put up my apathetic face during class and not interact with her. I think if I try to initiate stuff, I will just seem desperate.

Would like advice.
Thank you.