Safe choking
Hi any tips on how to stay safe during sex when choking is invoked? I was facing away from the guy and he gripped his hands around (I’m not sure if it was my throat or neck) it was ok but it was the first time I had lost my breath for an extended period of time. Of course I couldn’t speak during that & he couldn’t see my face. I chatted to him since about it as I turns me on but just want to be a little safer. In this instance would it be best to kind of grab his arm? I have seen some conflicted things about air being cut off.
6 comments
It’s best not to cut off air flow but rather put pressure on the jugular veins as to limit blood flow to the brain less chance of causing damage. This however is considered an edge play so safety is paramount. Please use safe words or make some kind of signal or even just plain language to ensure no harm is done.
Putting pressure on the wind pipe is a huge no, it’s fragile and can get crushed way too easily. Never ever put pressure on the front of the throat. It’s less risky to press on the sides restricting blood flow but please understand that there is no safe option here.
Depriving your brain of oxygen is always gonna be risky and risk brain damage. Our brains need oxygen and the high you’re feeling from lack of oxygen is brain cells dying.
It’s also extremely important to have a way for him to determine if you’re losing consciousness. You holding onto his arm and squeezing it hard is an option for this, as soon as you loosen your grip he needs to let go.
And please please discuss the risks. He needs to call the emergency services if you lose consciousness and you could end up with brain damage or dying if things go wrong. You both need to be aware of this. Breath play is not to be treated lightly.
IMO, choking and breathplay in the more literal sense should always be separate. You CAN cut off air supply during play, but only by (fully or partially) covering your play partner’s mouth and nose, NOT by constricting their windpipe in any way.
A small thing – there isn’t really any such thing as “safe choking.” There are ways to reduce the risk somewhat, but I don’t think you can ever really call it safe. It feels good, sure – but it’s really important to know the risks before you go for it. Way too many people think of things like choking as “basic/entry level” kink, and it really isn’t.
From your description, it doesn’t sound like this person really knows what they’re doing. I’d recommend both of you go away and do some proper research on this before you try it again, if you decide to do so.
There are two kinds of chokes: an air choke and a blood choke. Unless you are literally defending yourself, you should pretty much always be using a blood choke.
Both methods essentially produce the same end result of temporarily reducing oxygen to the brain, followed by a head rush when the choke is released.
The problem(s) with using an air choke are that you can easily cause physical damage to the windpipe and the fact that you don’t immediately restore those oxygen levels. When you perform an air choke, the subject gets less oxygen to their lungs, which results in less oxygen in their blood, which results in less oxygen to their brain. When you release that choke, they have to breathe in the oxygen to get to their blood to get to their brain. It’s a multi-step process that has a delay before achieving the desired results.
With a blood choke, you aren’t crushing the wind pipe. You are applying pressure to the carotid arteries on both sides of the neck. This slows down the blood flow to the brain. As soon as you release that pressure, oxygenated blood rushes the short distance to the brain and the subject experiences a (generally favorable) head rush. The subject can breathe the entire time, and recovers essentially immediately. It works faster and they recover faster.
I have found that a lot of women don’t even necessarily need to be actually choked; merely placing my hand on their throat with my fingers on their carotid is enough to get them excited. It’s also very easy to scale the blood choke with varying amounts of pressure.
Both of you can practice blood chokes on yourself relatively easily to see how it feels and where the pressure should be applied. As with any kink activity, be extremely careful and gradually build things up, don’t just go crazy.
Bonus choking tip: a lot of people will focus on the time during the choking, but the head rush is where it’s at. When I’m fucking someone that likes being choked, I go very slowly while I’m building up the pressure on their throat. It let’s them really feel the pressure build, and then as soon as I release that pressure, I pound with wanton abandon while they’re experiencing the head rush. It generally gets great reviews from those that like being choked.
Yes. I NEVER cut of air. Light pressure on the sides of the neck, restricting but not cutting off blood flow, is the goal. If a guy 1. Chokes you without verbal consent at some point or 2. Puts all the pressure on you wind pipe so you can’t breathe, run, because he has no fucking idea what he’s doing and has watched too much porn.