Men of Reddit, what do you have to say to a woman who thinks she would rather be with someone older than her than someone her age or near it?

32 comments

1. Most women date and marry men that are older than them.

   I could give you a few examples of why, but the short answer is that most women judge men by things that take time to accumulate. Whereas men tend to look first for traits that tend to deteriorate over time.

2. As a man it sucks when you’re younger but you kind of get it. There’s a ridiculous amount of unbelievably immature guys that women just don’t want to put up with, and older men generally are more mature.

3. Good luck

   -guy from taken

4. Mostly she likes someone that going to cater to her like a dad and/or likes to be took care of. Possible even being controlled.

   At different stages in life connecting isn’t really a thing different stages and way different cultures between different generations.

5. A lot of men I know look for a woman on their maturity level. To an extent, age is just a number, it’s more about how a connection can be made. For example, if you’re 20 and you want to be with a 30 year old, he’s probably going to want you to have the maturity and same headspace as a 30 year old—meaning caring more about your credit report than the next frat party, more about buying a home than ringing up a bar tab. Of course these are generalizations. But the long and the short of it is he isn’t going to want to babysit a partner or feel like she’s not a peer.

6. Have fun… nobody cares

7. Depends on the age. If you’re under the age of 21, I’d be concerned at what age you’re aiming for. Above that, no thoughts. I don’t care what you do with your dating life.

8. Just keep in mind as men age, they become less willing to change their behaviors, so if you don’t like him as is, don’t be trying to change him, or he’ll likely resent you for it 😅 Oh, and older men tend to be more vocal about their opinions, no time for mincing words 😁

9. I have nothing to say to her, she is an adult and can make any decision she wants and deal with them as well.

   I find it quite ironic how many “tolerant” people become condescending of women the moment they make decisions that are not aligned with someone elses moral values. It’s her moral compass, her decision, her responsibility, her consequences. And nobody else will tell her what to do and won’t be able to others what to do.

10. You don’t have anything to say to her. You leave her and her choices alone and worry about your own decisions.

11. Literally nothing. Their preferences are none of my concern.

12. It depends on what the woman wants. I’ve found that women that want fun and spontaneous will date men thier age or younger as those are usually a young man’s game. Women that want stability will usually go for older men. As a rule men hit thier stride mid 30s in some cases you’ll find smart men that do this younger when they focus on thier grind and find thier niche but usually mid 30s it’s all uphill as far as success.

13. As long as shes an adult, its her responsibility to properly vet who she involves herself with. I would wish her the best of luck like i would if she wanted to date someone her age.

    My advice would be, dont be misled by what other want you to do or believe. People dont get together because they have things in common (like age range). They do so because of attraction and attraction is personal. Attraction is also not the same between the genders as both genders have their own things they look for. Also dont forget you can also create things in common with whoever you want (for when people say you wont have things in common). Idk why people forget that or think you are some static thing incapable of expanding your boundaries 🙄.

    Dont forget, its a competitive world out there, especially for dating. You will hear a lot of crap and bullshit that sounds great from people who want things to be easier for them by telling you how you should live your life. Best of luck, i wish you happiness and success in your efforts.

14. Fairly normal. It would be odd if that someone older was 60 and you were 30 but several years older than yourself is understandable. My wife is seven years younger. Just make sure there’s some experience and a bit of wisdom with that age gap.

15. Power to you. Just…

    – Educate yourself on the pros and cons of dating an older guy, don’t lie to yourself that there won’t be any cons.
    – Have his back and be vocal if people think he’s a creep for dating someone younger. Remind people that it’s your choice as a fully grown and logical adult to date someone older.

    This is all the Council of Men asks of you.

16. Depends on the age of the woman in question and the size of the age gap. But generally, my view is mostly negative.

17. I don’t say anything to a women thinking like that. Because I don’t fucking care.

18. It’s completely fine.

    Women emotionally/psychologically mature much quicker than men, and women typically don’t want someone childish or immature.

    Women are most attractive and fertile around the ages of 20-24, but regardless of peaks, a woman will be more attractive at 30 than she is at 40 (barring extrenuating circumstances) and men typically want someone attractive.

    Men will typically need extra time to build up their resources/social standing and women typically don’t want a bum who still lives with his parents or will leech off of her.

19. Her last boyfriends were not as nice to her and she thinks looking for older men will solve that

20. It’s more common than you think. It probably has a lot to do with how young women mature faster than young men, and are looking for someone a little less juvenile.

    Just be aware of that, and try to keep within a reasonable age range, and you should be fine. I think that most older men aren’t like Leo, I won’t go below 30 these days. My personal rule is nothing more than a 10 year age gap.

21. Seems to be an awful lot of people that would automatically label such a guy a predator.

    seems normal to me

22. When i was younger, i was into women who were older since i was seeking stable and functional relationships, so i totally get it. But once i have been past 25 it started to normalize since many people ind that range of age start to sort their things out

23. Men want young/beautiful. Women want status/money. It’s been this way for a long time. Only recently has it started changing for some people.

24. I love you is a pretty common one. My wife is 9 years younger than me.

    Age is a number, it means nothing. Happiness is what counts

25. Good luck and then I move on.

    That’s her preference.

26. Assuming you’re on the younger side (20s), there’s nothing wrong with this. I remember when I was in my 20’s I didn’t have my shit together to really be a good partner in a relationship.

    More mature men will have gone through the phase and won’t want to dick around. If they want to be with you, they will usually make that very clear.

    Keep in mind, this is for “mature men”, which can be any age but is more likely as we get older.

27. it seems that most women like men older than them.

28. I think its just smart. It takes time to accumulate the things most women want out a relationship. Physical/financial security, status, a good physique etc. Men really have to work to improve themselves so they aren’t just part of the 80% of invisible men.

29. “You do you”

30. Idk if this is your belief, but it’s a common one. Maturity is pretty individual. I’ve cold met 3 groups of people in the last 6 months (travel, putting myself out there more locally). They have all guesses I was 27-28 and were utterly blown away when they found out I’m 24. I also know some dudes in their 30’s that I don’t find any more “mature” than my peers.

    Maybe it’s just the peers I associate with, but it seems to me that maturity is highly individual and is only loosely correlated with age.

    Other than that, I hope you find a great partner and have a happy relationship! Good luck out there!

31. I would not patronize or infantilize her, as long as she tried both and is sure about her preference

32. Provided the younger partner is an adult with sufficient life experience ( say 25-30) , I think whatever makes both happy. Age is just a number. The negatives, society will not approve, social stigma for both ( younger gold digger, older predator) and one person is going into old age a lot sooner than the other. If you genuinely don’t give a damn about the negatives, go for it.