Dumb question time. So I (21m) have only been on a handful of dates in my life, due to life and familial constraints I was never able to date in high school, despite wanting to and so I never really learned how to date.
I’m getting out there now that I’m in university but I’ve had no luck so far. Every date I’ve been on has either fizzled out into nothing or remained with us being friends. My only “success” led to her leaving me for someone else once the relationship was getting off the ground.
I’ve asked people what I’m doing wrong and a common denominator has been my mindset, either that I’m pessimistic or that I’m trying too hard and not having fun.
That brings me to this question, how do I have fun while I’m dating? I like hanging out with others but a lot of meeting someone for me is based around gauging whether they like me and and stressing about how to make people like me. I usually like to share my interests or learn new things about people in conjunction with making jokes and stuff and it’s fun sure but it’s also quite stressful to me, as someone who hasn’t done this as much. Isn’t this how everyone feels when on dates or talking to new people?
If not what do I do to change this? I’m starting to get pretty depressed over my current approach not leading anywhere
1 comment
Same reason why extroverts are keen to go to new places, meet new people, have adventures.
For introverts it’s more important to have fun in the moment, and invite the new person to come along. Like you’re into slam poetry. So you invite a date to a session. Or you’re into hiking, you invite a date on a trail you’re familiar with. Fun in the moment makes you more interesting and more attractive.