What’s something you thought happens in every house but you later find out ,that’s not the case ?

16 comments

1. Being yelled at for everything. Anything. Leaving the fridge open, for not cleaning the yoghurt cup, for breathing too loud, for simply existing.

2. How your parents made to take naps until you were 12 I thought everyone had to take naps but nope my parents just didn’t want to deal with me and yelling all the time

3. The silent treatment. It shocked me that kids I went to school with rarely got smacked, or screamed at, or given the silent treatment from their parents.

   My parents really loved implementing this. It turned me into a very very anxious adult. I was so overly sensitive to peoples reactions and got depressed if someone seemed cold to me. Usually they had things going on in their life but my first assumption was that it was because of me.

   I remember vividly sitting at the breakfast table at 14. My parents were angry with me and had been ignoring me for two days. I didn’t know why they were mad (I found out later they had gone through my phone and discovered I used bad language talking to my friends) and I was growing desperate for them to speak to me. I meekly asked my dad to pass the butter. My dad looked at my brother without saying a word… and my brother passed me the butter. Usually once the tension peaked, my parents would explode in fury at me and make me guess until I got the right offence, which was a tricky method to make me confess all the perceived bad things I did. I fell for it every time. I’d be told I wasn’t welcome in the home, and i was lucky they didn’t kick me out, that children who dishonoured their parents went to hell, that God hates the things I do… they went all out with their insults as a method of control.

   I’m sure it comes as no surprise that I have an estranged relationship with them.

4. Soooooo I’m going to be the first positive response and say singing, my mother often sang to herself and if something needed cleaning, the stereo was on blasting the favourite tunes of whichever parent got there first. We had a very fancy (at the time) CD changer that had Mariah, Styx, Whitney, Chicago, and Paula Abdul or Richard Marx in it.

5. Basically everything from [the ADHD living space accommodations video](https://youtu.be/posZhu_YIl0).

   It blew my mind that there are people out there living with only one trash can for their entire house, mayyyyyyybe two if they put one in the bathroom as well. Or people who had a coffee maker in one place and their coffee in a totally other place and their filters in yet a third unrelated place. What? How?

   My house growing up had trash cans in every room. And point of performance was default. I just couldn’t fathom walking an eighth of a mile to get and return a pair of scissors when you need them for homework but they live in the kitchen (vs owning two pairs of scissors: kitchen and desk) or to put a used tissue in the trash despite the tissue box being in the room without the trash but still buying a fitbit like you think you aren’t getting steps in?

6. Casual nudity at home and in recreational activities with friends. Grew up mainly in Europe. When I went to other countries and finally the USA I learned not to mention it because everyone looked at me like I had three heads.

7. Child abuse

8. My cousins drop by my house randomly. I did drop by my cousin’s house randomly this week and when I told my coworkers they made a pikachu face. Like, I went there for lunch just like my cousins do in my house.

   Also, my dad used to drive me and my brother back and forth everywhere. I would call from the most random place and my dad would pick me up.

   Finally, we have a lot of books. I thought that was the norm until I went to a friend’s house and there was not even a newspaper.

9. Having to help your parents/siblings with all of their career, relationship, personal styling, packing, and health-related needs. Essentially, being your parent’s life partner on an emotional and logistical level throughout your teens.

10. Not being allowed to cook in the kitchen. Even at 18 years old my parents were the only ones allowed to use the stove.

11. I thought everybody cut their dinner with scissors. Didn’t learn how to use a knife to cut food until well into my teens

12. All dads drink loads of alcohol

13. [removed]

14. Dad cumming on me

15. My parents leaving books out for me to learn things on my own… (I assumed this happened with my brothers too, turns out my parents only did this to me as I was so “bookish”/curious (and “anti authoritarian”).

    We didn’t have any junk/processed/fast food. We got to have dessert at most once a month… and it was one malteaser ball or one ice cream crunch dibs.

    We woke up every morning at 6am to do 30 minutes of yoga and exercise. Keep in mind.. I’m in my 30s and yoga was very much not “trendy” back then. This started from ~5-6y/o old onwards

    We were also taken to (classical music) concerts at least every other week.

16. Screaming, forced to keep doors open, expected to know things at age 11 that you wouldn’t know, etc I fucking hated living at my aunts