I (F20) am 5’4 124 pounds and have a completely average sized butt. My boyfriend has made it clear in the past he has a preference for big butts. I know he is dealing with an ongoing porn addiction which is definitely fogging his perception of the average woman’s body but this all has really hurt my self esteem over time.
Lately I’ve started to workout (for myself) and have gained some confidence but a couple days ago he grabs my butt and goes “your ass is tiny” and I immediately ask why he would say that when he knows that I know his preference and wouldn’t just say “I like your ass” or something nothing.
He just brushed it off and said “well I just meant it in a cute way like aww your ass is so tiny and small”
I left it at this but I’m kind of a bit upset?
TL:DR; boyfriend said my ass is tiny
12 comments
“My porn-addicted boyfriend has a preference for a body type that isn’t my own but instead of leaving and finding someone who appreciates me for me I’m gonna jump through hoops to be what HE wants.”
That’s basically what you’re doing here.
Your boyfriend sounds like a jerk. Honestly there’s no reason for him to ever tell you what his preference is for a woman’s butt. That’s not information you need. Sounds like he’s trying to make you feel bad about yourself
You actually have a giant ass…of a boyfriend.
Tell him if he wants to see a huge @$$, he should look at his own face in the mirror. Or grab him by his genitalia and tell him how cute and tiny it is.
Butt seriously….
This guy sounds like a major jerk. Dont jump through hoops trying to transform yourself to his preferences. Let him find what he likes and save your love and attention for someone who loves you exactly as you are
Tell him if he loves large asses so much he should get one while you usher him out the door. Large assess may be great? I don’t get it, but yours is going to look better as you age. The larger they are, the further they’ll fall.
My abusive ex did the same thing to me. Was incredibly apologetic the first time and I thought he just wasn’t good at verbalizing what he meant.. it got worse. He picked my body apart piece by piece. I’ve been out of the relationship over a year now and I still cry when I look in the mirror while trying to overcome all the things he said about me. It starts here. And ever so slowly it gets worse. Like boiling a frog. They raise the temp slowly until they don’t ever realize they’ve been boiled alive.
Don’t stay like I did and wait until your body image is messed up as bad as mine. I’m so glad I left. I may still be bad off but I’m so much better than when I was with him. Leave before he gets worse with his hidden insults. I’m sure that’s not your only insecurity he brings up like this after making sure you know he has a preference for something else
Don’t let him give you a complex and certainly don’t let him project his unrealistic beauty standards on you.
He’s doing it on purpose so you’ll work on it more. You don’t really want to dare someone like that do you
I have to admit, I like tiny and average sized butts. I’m sure there are many others like me even though all we hear is how men like big butts. So not true. Your bf is a huge ass jerk. Find someone more deserving of you. Hold your head high.
You are waaaayyyyy too young for this crap. Ditch the loser!
He wants you to feel bad about your body. He’s a giant ass. I wouldn’t stick around for any more of his bs.
I wonder how he’d feel if you grabbed parts of *his* body and told him how tiny they are.