I wrote this in response to a question on “how to be alpha”. I used to be incredibly socially awkward and this is the blueprint I used to fix that.
First of all, don’t fall into the Andrew Tate/Fresh and Fit/Kevin Samuels bullshit. That’s the fastest way to become bitter and repulsive to people. Their entire business model wouldn’t work if guys actually became “alpha” because they’d stop listening and move on. Not accusing you of doing that or anything, just a heads up from someone who fell down that rabbit hole at one point. By “alpha” you mean confidence and true confidence comes from within. Get to know yourself fully. Admit all of your insecurities and imperfections to yourself. Become as self aware as possible. People can sense the genuine comfortability within one’s skin that you will posses, plus people want to be around someone who makes them comfortable and people won’t feel comfortable around you if you’re not comfortable in your own skin. Also, hit the gym. It’s not about looking ripped even though that helps, it’s about feeling good about yourself. That oozes confidence. MOST OF ALL, flirt with the world. Practice being as charismatic as possible to everyone you meet. Flirting isn’t necessarily overtly sexual, in fact most of the time it’s not, so flirt with everyone you meet. It could be the lady at the post office, some old dude at the gas station, anyone and everyone. You’re not going to magically transform into a Casanova as soon as you see a someone you want to talk to. You’ll be even more nervous and awkward. If you can confidently flirt with the world then you should be able to hold it together when talking to someone who makes you nervous. Also, very important, develop a mental Rolodex of catchphrases and phrases you can use in everyday conversation. Those of us who struggle(d) with social interactions tend to not know what to say in certain situations, like when someone compliments you, when someone says thank you, when meeting someone, etc. Some examples of phrases you can use are: “thanks, I do my best”, “any time”, “of course”, “I’d never turn down the opportunity to ____ “, “right back atcha”, etc. Just basic stuff but have fun with it too. Have a few little jokes or sayings you can deploy, little witty quips and comebacks, things that are the verbal equivalent of a wink. Watch movies or tv shows with charming characters and pick up the little quips they say. I got a lot of the sayings, quips, and slang from friends or coworkers that I thought were cool. Try not to copy anyone fully though. Say what feels natural to you. Saying things with confidence and charisma is what counts. Smile. Look people in the eye. Don’t be afraid to end conversations when you feel them fizzling out. Don’t overthink it though, do little social experiments by talking to cashiers and people you’ll probably never see again. If you stumble over your words with a cashier from Walmart they’ll literally forget you exist in 5 minutes so no harm no foul. Sharpen your social skills with casual encounters so you’ll be dialed in under pressure.