So, I’m a 20 year old guy with Asperger’s and social anxiety. I’ve spent my whole life trying to make close friends but ever since middle school haven’t really had any. Well, I have one who I just met a year ago, a co-worker, and we’re pretty close, but beyond that I don’t really have any. And I focused a lot on my loneliness and the fact I had no friends for a long time in high school and this past two years of college.
Besides my co-worker, there’s kids in my classes I talk to and get along with, just like in high school, but I can’t call them friends because outside of class were not close enough to hang out.
Anyways, I’ve decided instead of focusing on all of that to instead focus on bettering myself and becoming who I want to be. I’ve started lifting, running, eating healthier and eating more, focusing on academics, caring more about my personal hygiene/appearance, putting more effort and time into my mental health, and working harder in my work. Not for the sake of other people but for the sake of feeling better about myself, more confident and happy.
Only a week has passed since I first started all of this but I already feel better about myself and am happier. I just wish I had more opportunities in class to talk with people, because I love it, love making them laugh and smile, but outside of class I just can’t seem to do it, and I never have since middle school.
And there’s this girl in my lab who is absolutely amazing, but again I can’t keep any sort of sparks alive. I’ve made her laugh, made her smile, and we talk but not as much as I’d like and not enough to get close. It’s this sort of thing that always happens, whether its with friends or with more than friends.
Not really sure what I’m looking for but I’d appreciate whatever advice you think I need.
1 comment
Take every opportunity you get, ask them about their interests, talk about yours, find common ground, theres a barrier to break and once thats done you can engage more easily. Works for me, a fellow asd, socially anxious person.