Why does it take men an hour to poop?

48 comments

1. Of course we are hiding in there on our phones it’s the only peace we get

2. We want some fucking peace and quiet.

3. > I’m starting to wonder if Men are just hiding in the bathroom, playing on their phones.

   Yep, very close guess. It’s our alone time where there is 0 stress and nobody can interrupt…unless that’s the only bathroom there is lol.

4. For some men, it is the only place the can get some peace and quiet, got to take advantage of the time when you get it.

5. Personally, I’ve been dealing with a lot of shit lately

6. I’m a man (28) but I’m speaking for myself only, i usually take more or less an hour in pooping because I’m in there playing videogames on my phone.

7. We often reflect on our life while sitting on the toilet. It’s the only place in this world where we can experience true peace.

8. No. They’re just hiding from you. An hour of silence and peace.

9. Yeah, it’s quiet time. And time for us to relax

10. Do not question what occurs on a man’s throne of contemplation!

    …well, for some it may be a throne of constipation…but still:

    Mind yo business huh? 😁

11. Only place to be one with the universe.

12. We were done 50-55 minutes ago, that wasn’t a courtesy flush that was a I’m done flush now I’m going to chill playing on my phone til my legs fall asleep.

13. Why can’t women ever be on time for anything?

    Let’s generalize some more. This is fun!!

14. If he’s actually pooping for an hour there’s a problem with his GI tract.

    Apartment living and no free space would be my guess.

15. Just wait how long they take to go get Milk!

16. poop time is sacred. never question it.

17. As a husband and father, I get to tell people to ‘leave me alone, I’m in the toilet’, while contemplating life, aimlessly scrolling on my phone and taking a break from life.
    Also, no chores in the toilet. Sure, they’ll be there when I get out, but in that moment, it’s pure bliss.

18. If at work we only take dumps on OT so you milk it for all it’s worth

19. hairy butts are hard to clean

20. I have the exact opposite experience with my wife. I’m in and out of there, but she’s crapping for a minimum of 20 minutes.

21. Speaking only for myself, it’s more like 20 minutes. 4 minutes pooping, 16 minutes goofing off on phone. Unless porn is involved. Then it’s 4 minutes pooping 14 minutes searching and 2 minutes “ being at one with myself “.

22. They aren’t pooping for an hour. They are hiding for an hour. It is most likely the only place they can get 10 minutes of peace.

    If you’ve experienced this with multiple men, who is the common denominator?

23. It’s really difficult to poop and masturbate at the same time, but you can get it done in an hour if you really try.

24. A bit of both. Sometimes in the morning it’ll take a while for the pipes to declog so I’ll check on clash of clans, stocks, news while I wait. Then it all comes down but my knees or thighs will go numb so I call upon my trusty gf to come help me out. That only happens when I take more than 15 minutes though.

25. Honestly lately I’ll be sitting there for 10 minutes and a second shit comes along.

26. Have to play Spider Solitaire a few times before I win.

27. > if men are just hiding in the bathroom, playing on their phones.

    Yep.

    Poor diets too.

    Sometimes masturbation.

28. Men spend a lot of time on the toilet when that’s the only place they can get some peace. If you start regulating his pooping time then even that last sanctuary will no longer be a peaceful place.

    This is ***not*** necessarily a you thing, but if dude is spending an hour on the toilet ask yourself if he’s genuinely able to chill elsewhere and if not, maybe carve out some him-time where he doesn’t feel pressured to provide/entertain/listen/etc and can just exist alone for a bit. I’ve been in relationships that felt like I had to always be “on” from the moment I got home all the way until bedtime and it can be extremely tiring if you’re the kind of person who needs some time to yourself.

29. I poop in like 1 min

    I don’t stay in the bathroom, I’d rather just tell people I want to be alone and go to my room… alone… and stay there… as long as I want…

    … I’m single though lol

30. I love cheese more than I hate being lactose intolerant.

31. Two reasons. Hiding to get some peace and quiet and alone time, and dealing with stupid asshole hair. It’s like wiping a melted crayon out of a shag carpet some days, then you throw dingleberries into the mix and it’s just never ending ffs. I’d like to shave mine but don’t trust shaving an area I can’t see that close to my poop chute.

32. The secondary poop. You have the main one in the chamber and another one brewing close on its heels. Takes a few minutes for gravity to get involved.

33. Cause I’m busy answering questions like this

34. Honestly there’s a lot of jokes here but I’m one of those long poopers.

    I don’t know how to describe it, but ever since I can remember sometimes there’s poop pending but won’t come. So I wait.

35. For me, I can’t just push it all out at once. It comes in waves. I have my initial blast. A few minutes later, there’s some more that wants to come out. A few minutes later, another round. I sit there until I’m sure I can’t poop anymore. Up to 30 minutes in some cases. It’s kind of annoying.

36. Sometimes my body just decides to purge everything, so yeah I have spent 15 minutes pooping.
    then 30 minutes taking a shower because I feel that unclean

37. Maybe not an hr but they probably jerking off

38. Sometime it takes a while to give birth

39. “if your wife’s bitter, take an hour on the shitter”

40. I take 10min tops. who’s got time for a whole hour?

41. As the only female in a house full of males they all are baffled by me. They say I’m the quickest shitter in the world and question my wiping capabilities. I of course don’t understand why they can stand the smell of their own fecal matter to the extent that they spend enough time in there to do their taxes and read War and Peace. As a side note, I am the only one who has been hemorrhoid free my entire life and my wiping capabilities are top notch.

42. because it takes women an hour to let us have 10 minutes to ourselves.

43. Actually, I’m pulling the toilet’s chain to activate a lever that will catapult me into the secret lair where I’ll be plotting world domination.

    I mean… Playing with my phone…

44. They like to contemplate their lives while laying huge monolith turds

45. Most men do not get enough fiber. “Meat and potatoes” guys are going to be shitting bricks.

46. growing up with a dad who would do this, i’ve always thought it weird and kinda gross. if it’s peace you seek, create it for yourself somewhere else. go meditate, practice yoga, or just take alone time somewhere that doesn’t regularly get shat in. plus, the longer you’re in there, the higher the likelihood you get poop particles on your phone. how many of y’all actually alcohol wipe your phones after?

47. Because we are answering questions on Reddit…

48. I have no idea what this is about. In my experience taking a dump is usually a fairly quick process, maybe 20-30 seconds to do the deed, and maybe a minute or so cleaning up after. I have no idea why there is this stereotype of the man who spends an hour on his phone or in meditation when they’re in the restroom.