Relating to people

So this is gonna be a bit of a long one, I’ll try to come up with a tldr

I’ve posted before about romantic issues I’ve had due to past trauma, my 1st girlfriend was raped and got pregnant with a rape baby he later beat her to commit feticide. We both had minor mental illness issues like adhd (me) and bipolar(gf) but the situation caused a lot more to rise such as depression anxiety for me and my girlfriend of the time started showing schizophrenia symptoms as well as suicide depression tendencies. Getting over this trauma has caused me to have a lot of identity issues, as well as issues feeling safe or like I could keep people safe and while I still found women incredibly attractive I found myself unable to act romantically or sexually(at least not comfortably). After not being in a Romantic or sexual relationship for a few years I started trying to get back out there but couldn’t find anyone, after even longer I started a poly/open relationship with another amab person (we were both bi-curious) and while I’ve found I’m not sexually in to men and rarely romantically, being with him has been nice I also feel more comfortable since he doesn’t trigger the same repulsion I have had when thinking of women in those contexts, actually I’ve mostly gotten over it (I can fantasize about cute dates with women, I can feel attached to female friends and I know it’s a weird achievement but I can watch porn with real women all without feeling sic). But a big issue I’m experiencing while I try to date and get out there is… um like relating to people and interacting like a normal human. The only people I seem to be able to relate to are people with sever trauma and further more when I hit on people they joke about me sounding or acting like a serial killer, I don’t say “weird things”. The most I can figure is that I have a social gap specifically for romance (I’m a charismatic person in groups and with friends). Already being neurodivergent and now having several years of inexperienced as well as trauma that is hard to talk about and even harder to find people that understand it. I don’t know what to do?

TL:DR traumatic experiences + lack of experience keep me from rizzing