I posted this originally in /r/advice but it hasn’t gotten much attention.
My sister and I (both in our 40s) get along when we’re in the same room together, but I wouldn’t call us close. A rift started when she married an deadbeat asshole who used to bully me as a kid (she’s 5 years older than me). They got divorced, but then I spent 7 years living in another state. That rift never seemed to mend.
We’re both musicians, so we have that in common. Other than that, not much. She stayed in the same town, had kids, and has had the same teaching job for 20 years. I pursued a career in tech, job-hopped, and live in a very large city (though we now live about an hour from each other).
My mother is getting older, so this is part of my concern. When mom gets towards the end of her life, and eventually dies, I want to be close to my sister. I just don’t know how to develop the relationship.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? Any advice? TIA.