I feel kind of meek as a guy for never enjoying the typical guy stuff (sports mainly) and my personality/demeanor are punishing me but very hard to change. I’m sensitive, anxious, and withholding and it feels like these traits are seen as creepy/pathological in young men. I put up faux confidence in college but I can’t maintain it anymore. I had to cut off a toxic friend for constantly framing my insecurity as “not lifting enough, or stop wearing glasses, or just generally need to get my life together.” This was in response to me being romantically desperate but I think it goes much deeper than that. I’m trying to talk about with a counselor, but I’m at a super low point in my life right now that’s broken down the walls of past toxic thought patterns. I also think I may have clinical anxiety beyond just normal insecurity.
Anyone experience this in their early life? Did you ever radically change? It feels like my self perception is being unraveled and it’s really painful.
2 comments
Yeah. I still do. I got into the gym year ago, and everyday I am trying to make as many interactions with other people as I can. I know that my anxiety is not real, it’s just in my head. But still, it’s hard. Everyday. I have social anxiety, you might have it as well. Other than that I am pretty courageous. I’m just coming back from skiing, where I was sliding down really fast and I felt from few meters after failed jump and I thought that I won’t be able to walk again but for now I’m fine. So I’m really not afraid to take risks. But when it comes to people, especially the ones I don’t know too well, I am scared. I am paralyzed.
Yeah. I still do. I got into the gym year ago, and everyday I am trying to make as many interactions with other people as I can. I know that my anxiety is not real, it’s just in my head. But still, it’s hard. Everyday. I have social anxiety, you might have it as well. Other than that I am pretty courageous. I’m just coming back from skiing, where I was sliding down really fast and I felt from few meters after failed jump and I thought that I won’t be able to walk again but for now I’m fine. So I’m really not afraid to take risks. But when it comes to people, especially the ones I don’t know too well, I am scared. I am paralyzed.