I’ve been struggling with doing something about this for a while but I dont really have anyone to talk to so im gonna go out on a limb and post on here. Sorry if the story is all over the place but its just how I think.
Lately i’ve been feeling like shit with my ‘best’ friends. I’m 15 in my sophomore year of high school, im pretty nice and im outgoing when I loosen up around people but for whatever reason im pretty reserved around people I don’t know and I feel like thats part of the issue. Anyway i’m starting to genuinely dislike hanging around my friends, they constantly just pick on me, and ive noticed that they do it to me but mainly just me, which just makes me feel like shit. We also have this other group (all girls) that we hang out with sometimes, and they still make fun of me and it feels like its for attention. I’ve gone to my friends for advice on how to make more friends and just be more outgoing, all they say is “talk more”, “be outgoing” blah blah, but I feel like I cant do that because whenever im around them even if we’re with people they just make fun of me. Whenever I say almost anything at this point they either completely ignore it or say shut the fuck up or something just rude for people that are supposed to be your best friends. People might say “aw theyre just joking chill” or theyll say “bro its all love” when I call them out, but the problem is its just me, and they always call me a pussy and all that bullshit – I get that friends joke around obviously but why am I the one picked on the most.
Another thing that I hate is that they dont even seem to care about me or my problems, if I have an issue they never help or even try, they all prioritize themselves first, and you should, but not as much as they do.
Lately i’ve been feeling more reserved and im starting to resent even talking to them, let alone go to the sleepovers and shit we have. I feel like no matter what I do, no matter what I say, no matter how much I try to fix things or tell them to fuck off, it doesn’t work. My escape from all this is pretty much just the gym and music to be honest, but it only helps so much. Part of me wants to just say fuck you guys im not hanging out with you, and maybe that’ll make a difference, but I cant do that because every single day im at lunch with them, and one of them comes to the gym every day when I go. I also don’t want to do that because one of them has been my best friend since the third grade and I can’t just let all of that go. They don’t get it, even if they knew I felt like this (which they somewhat do) they wouldnt even care, they dont care about me at all. It sucks too because i’m a huge reason this group is even a thing in the first place. Every time I do something or give an idea it either gets stolen or it gets no reaction and people just ignore it.
Idk man, im just feeling like shit about all of this, the rest of my life also sucks and theyre no help. My whole family is a mess, my dads barely in the picture anymore, he doesnt even seem to care about me. My grandfather who was the greatest and nicest person ive ever known passed away a few weeks ago. My sister who im super close with is away for uni. My parents just spit their stuff on me all the time (mainly my dad when I see him). My step family broke apart a few months ago after 8 years in the same house. My life is in a pretty shitty place and nobody seems to recognize or care about any of it.
I need advice and help, I dont know what to do.
1 comment
Call your sister and talk it out. Also go see your school counselor.