TL; DR! L and I have been best friends since grade 9 but we were genuinely friends until last October, he started to have feelings for me. Last Christmas, he confessed to me but when I replied that I like him back, he changed his mind for the reason that there is a possibility for us to be LDRs after high school and he has already decided to move on from me. I was hurt that he was being irresponsible for confessing without wanting to commit, but I still agreed to stay as friends.
Fast forward to January, we still chat regularly and the chats were kind of flirty, but I did not think anything to be suspicious (since we are best friends in the first place) until he asked me to be his prom partner. I was confused but I just assumed that he withdraw his statement that he will move on from me.
Everything was going well, I was waiting for him to tell me that he has decided to commit for I know it is risky to keep flirting without commitment. However, after our last dance practice, he requested to exchange partners because he realized that pairing with me will not help him in moving on.
I was puzzled until his friends revealed to me that he finds a girl to be pretty even before we became partners. Now, I feel like I was played. As if he made me one of his options and reserved me. And now that he chooses the other girl over me, he “dumped” me.
We talked and he admitted that he was using her as a rebound, but now he thinks that he likes her plus the girl also likes him back. Basically, the purpose of the talk was to ask for my forgiveness, and so he could be with her without feeling guilty. I did not accept his apology.
I know we were never together, but all we lacked was commitment. I am very hurt because that was actually emotionally cheating for me and the fact that he is moving on so fast makes me feel like a joke. He has just started talking to the girl for less than a week, but he gave her flowers and even invited her to church, which are all things that he never did to me. I know that they will immediately be together if I forgive him, and I do not want that. I am aware that I have no right to interfere since there was no commitment between us. All my friends are telling me to cut him off, but is he forgivable?
1 comment
Only you can answer that.
But to be clear he didn’t cheat on you, you were never together, you made assumptions instead of talking to him. He’s not great don’t get me wrong, but you are both young so the immaturity is expected.
He doesn’t want to be with you, it sounds like you still have feelings for him, this is no longer a real friendship. Personally, I would end communication and move on.