Hi there, I, 25f, am a single mother to 2.5 year old. I chose to leave an abusive situation during my pregnancy and nearly all dating life has really been out of the books for me for a long long time. I waited till I healed from my previous relationship, started college for my paralegal degree, and matured before reaching back into the dating pool. But all I’ve found are milf simpers, creepy borderline pedophiles, or young men that have no direction in life that just want to fuck around or play with my feelings.
I get that I’m plus sized, a college student, full-time worker, and a single mom. But I would love to fall in love and really find my meant to be.
Any advice?
8 comments
First thing you have to do is lose weight. Men will think you are all used up if you are not to “standard “. Men will only take care of you if you are the prize. They don’t care about your “amazing value and personality “.
There’s no sugar coating things, it’s going to be difficult
Dating as a single mother of a young child is already playing the game on turbo hard difficulty, to then also be extremely overweight makes it almost impossible to find a really great guy, you’re mostly going to find guys looking for something easy
Sounds like you’re doing well with the weight and are taking on a very difficult profession while being a mom so a huge thumbs up for working so hard.
I’d suggest focusing on what you can control for now and forget about the rest. Keep at it with the weight loss, focus on your education/career and keep being an awesome mom!
Worry about guys later
I’m not going to sugarcoat this or be fake like so many people do with “slay queen you go girl you’re perfect”. That’s not going to help you one bit.
You’re not in a great spot dating-wise. Overweight people have it hard – the heavier you are, the harder it is. Being in college also narrows your dating pool more, as looks are everything in college. Being older in college makes it worse, and looking for a serious relationship (especially) in college? Add a child to that and it’s borderline impossible. For now.
What you have to do is work on yourself. Be healthy, lose weight, find a hobby, volunteer, and become really good at what you do and you will 100% find an amazing partner.
It honestly doesn’t sound like you have time to date right now, your plate is really full. I would focus on being a mom, getting your Weight to a healthy range, and finishing your education before adding a BF to the mix.
Be incredibly discerning in the talking phase.
Write down a list of what is right and wrong for you in your current life. As a mom you need to date a man that earns the same as you, not less. He has to have a license, car, and be independent. Whatever it is that you need.
I’ve made the mistake of dating guys that didn’t have a license and fed me lies about getting one “next month”. Well lies and lies they never did.
A guy I was dating sat me straight he told me to no longer fall for little boys like that anymore because I had two kids to raise. I was shook that a casual date told me I needed to raise the bar on men! So I did.
Stay off of the apps. There’s a reason why majority of single people using them complain about finding the same type of people.
Good luck with that
I get it. I’m a single dad so the dating pull is kind of weird. I have a solid dad bod right now. I work out and I’m fit, but I’m not skinny. I’m also short, so that narrows my dating pool down a bit.
You have similar circumstances. I can say once I dropped some weight I had a lot of success. Now you may have luck finding someone who’s cool with a bbw but the reality is that most may be cool with sleeping with you but may not view you as relationship material.
Getting fit will open up the dating pool of more quality applicants. Realistically too, you should be looking for single dads in a similar (kid wise) situation. You may find some single men, but most will expect you to have more kids with them, and if that’s something you don’t want, it’s not a fit.